I missed you.
2015 was a year of challenges and discovery. It was a year of cleaning up messes from the clusterfuck that was 2014.
Things I am proud of:
- Tackling the constant negative thoughts about myself that caused so much harm. I always assumed this is how other people's brains work as well. Opening myself up to the fella about the issues and the root causes of them really allowed me some perspective. Self love ;) is the most important kind of love and in 2015 I started to confront and destroy all of my self loathing.
- The condo's major issues appear to be resolved. We haven't had a leak or serious issue since the work was completed in March. We won't know for sure until the spring thaw has passed but I think we are in pretty good shape on the home front.
- Work has completely turned around for me. I have been able to realize the first phase of my dream project and have learned a lot about being a better manager. For a long time I was lead to believe that I was the problem with the company. With the new management team in place and all the changes we have made I see now that I wasn't the problem and I am very good at my job.
- The Fellowship of Alberta Bears not-for-profit really took off this year. The board organized more events than ever and we managed to figure out a formula that really works for our members and minimizes our risks. It was a lot of hard work this year but it really paid off both for the organization and our selected charities.
Things I need to work on for 2016:
- I need to find a better work/life balance. Even with all the changes we have made in the last year I spent too many hours working or volunteering and not enough time with my friends and family. Sometimes this makes me feel like a ghost. Observing the lives of loved ones from afar and not able to properly participate. I see this really improving on the work side of things at least for this coming year.
- Be more spontaneous. I have been in survival mode for so long that getting my brain wrapped around new ways of living and thinking can be a tough job. I plan to say "Yes" more to myself and to the world.
- Take time for myself and reflect. As an introverted extrovert it can be tough being in the middle of so many things with no breaks. Just like I have to say "Yes" more often I also have to say "No" sometimes and take some time for myself. Part of this will be to post more to this blog. I have a tendency to forget about the past and I need this journal to provide a record of what I am doing in my life.