Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Baby steps in big man shoes

I got my first salaried paycheck yesterday. How adult do I feel. It wasn't the biggest cheque I have ever gotten but it certainly made me happy.

I have contacted my condo board to see if they need to approve the bamboo (eco friendly) flooring I am getting installed. I am not anticipating any problems because the condo's rules and regulations are almost non existent because they were written in 1973.

I feel soo adult today.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I believe that makes you a fucktard!

Well Stephen Harper you poked the bear and look what happened to you.

It smelled distinctly of desperation this ad campaign that you took up against Stephane Dion the new liberal leader. The worst kind of desperation. Like sweaty, shirtless, twink, guy that dances on the speakers poorly at the roost by the end of the night.

I am not even a fan of the Liberals (NDP ALL THE WAY) but you should have figured out already with the gay marriage vote, Canadians are much different than Americans when it comes to negative advertising and smear campaigns. We do not react to fear mongers like your American, republican, neo-con backers want.

Distaste for the smear campaign was already building when someone brilliantly released this letter that Harper wrote while he was leader of alliance party. The CBC sums it up wonderfully.
Basically Stephen you sounds a lot like another conservative leader that we all love to hate.

I have to admit I giggled when I saw the story break. If there is karma in politics i think this must be a case of it.

So your really do care about the environment right Stephen? Doesn't really sound like it.
Sounds more like your parroting what you think Canadians want to hear without putting much thought behind what your are saying or doing ( one look at your proposed clean air act should prove that last fact).

My favorite quote of yours is this one:
"We will do everything we can to stop him there, but he might get it passed with the help of the socialists in the NDP and the separatists in the BQ [Bloc Québécois]."
Arn't those people the ones your are suckholeing now with your minority government??

Oh no wait this is all a socialist agenda to make you look bad right? Honestly Stephen us socialists don't need the help, you make yourself look like enough of an asshole already.

Ch ch ch changes.... coming out

Last fall i promised myself that i wouldnt live another day fo the new year in the closet to my folks. New years came and went and I still have not come out to them.

I have not come out for a couple of reasons.
1. I am an anxiety riddled wuss
2. After talking to a bunch of people they seemed to think that the timing was bad for doing it around the holidays.
3. I feel so much guilt because my folks have been soo supportive of me the last few months with helping with the house and my car issues... i don't know if i am ready to lose that.
4. I am a selfish bastard (read #3 for proof).

In 29 more days I will be on my own and in my condo in about 20 days after that the major renovations will be done. Yet I still think I am going to wait a while after to come out to the family, is just don't know if i could disappoint them like that. I am tentatively thinking my convocation party.
Time will tell i guess.
I get a stomach ache just thinking about it....

Monday, January 29, 2007

Down the rabbit hole. Slicked with lube of course.

Someone offered me rubber sex gear for doing a website for them.

What am I going to so with rubber sex gear?


Boy talk

Last night i dreamt that I was covertly sneaking across a highly guarded graveyard/garden sitting between two skyscrapers. It was dusk and i slowly made my way between the low stones and bushes. About halfway through a girl who was crying at a monument near me went running across the yard. The movement alerted one of the guards who made his way to my direction. I threw myself to the ground hoping i wouldn't be captured. Alas Jennifer Garner I am not and he noticed me, taking aim with his tranquilizer gun and hitting me in the foot. Surprisingly the dart made me wake up in real life. I couldn't fall asleep after that.

in unrelated news Kyle and I had a very long chat yesterday. For those of you who don't know we had been taking a sabbatical from spending time with each other or even communicating while he sorted out some things. It had been almost two weeks since i had heard from him and i have to admit i was missing him. He is going to be doing shift work up north as a medic until he goes to firefighter camp in ma, he leaves today for a week.

It seems like things are sorting themselves out on his end of things which I am happy to hear. I still think that he allows people to use him unfairly. Which brings me to my own internal conflict about our relationship. It has been over 5 months since our first date (6 month is on feb 18) and I am beginning to wonder if our relationship was just a thing of convenience for him. I am trying to be understanding of his situation and not project my insecurities on him but really i wish he would show a tenth of the effort with me as he does with his many hangers on.

I would normally say "Ahhhh a boy can dream" right now but as we can see from above those dreams haven't been ending very well these days.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Doin the deed!

We went and test drove the 1989 Toyota Cressida today. The car was in great shape. It totally fell in love with this cool James Bond pop out environmental control feature, soooo sweeet!

We put a down-payment on the car. I pick it up on Thursday!! The car does need some work but i think it i s going to be awesome!


I was perusing my favorite music blog Neiles Life today for his awesomely informative reviews ( The guy has great taste in music!!). This is what I found posted.
I can't even tell you how bad I wand to go to this.

At the pub I used to drink at in university there was this really cool math prof who would party with us sometimes. Dr. D was the coolest prof we had met. He was older (40's) and in great shape (and kinda damn hot in a "not my type but i would probably do him anyways just to see what its like" sort of way). Other than baking damn good cookies and enjoying getting people drunk, Dr. D had awesome taste in music. He goes to the Coachella music festival fairly often and he would regale me with stories of who was good, who was bad and just the general orgasmic music nerd bliss that is the best music festival in the world.

He is going this year. I wish i was too. That line up looks fucking hot.
I want, I want, I want!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Jiggling it like a bowl full of jelly... or fat

Nothing is more inspiring while working out than seeing you fat gut overhanging your pants while on the exercise bike. I can't wait to be fit again!

Here is Mikey's blog as promised! Clink!

Oh I'll ride that all right!

I find out Saturday if I am getting the 1989 Toyota cressida. It really is a pretty car and sorta swanky in its time. Here is a picture (the one I am looking at is a darker colour though):
Special thanks to Mikey who has been a huge help with all my car issues the last month or so. Mikey just started a blog I will be posting the link later tonight.

On a totally unrelated topic, it is hard to type with hyper extended fingers (Nessa you suck!).

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What a hottie

I was watching a bit of the NHL all star skills competition last night while Battlestar Galactica's half season premier downloaded. Yes they are a lot of talented players and they were putting on a really good show but I have to admit however that I was rather distracted by this:

Rick Nash of the Columbus blue jackets. Look at that smile how can you not want to break off a piece of that. Plus you know what they say about hockey players, (and I am not referring to the fact that they are usually dirty douchbages) you just know he has a sweet ass on him. I just wish i could have found some better pictures to show you. If anyone finds any let me know and I will post them.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I know sometimes it is hard not to look but do you have to shove it in our faces like that?

Am I the only person around here that is totally disgusted with the media orgy that has been going on the last few days with the Pickton and Courtepatte trials beginning. I can't turn on a TV or load the formerly respectable cbc website without being inundated with the gory bloody details of both of these cases.

Perhaps it is our obsession with shows like CSI that has opened the doors for the disgusting base instincts of journalists/media outlets to really let loose.

I really have to question the validity and the need for media outlets to go into minutia of how poor Nina Courtepatte was brutally murdered never mind showing clips of the body and crime scene. I have never been a fan of mass media produced news programing and this is exactly why. This information isn't informative at all it is voyeurism in its most disgusting incarnation and people seem to be eating it up like it is candy. Grow up people. The victims and the families involved deserve more respect than this.

Monday, January 22, 2007

WOW and the best comic book movie ever!

Prepare yourself s ladies and gentlemen put on you pocket protectors and slather some grease on your forehead cuz this post is going to be rather geeky.

I have offically jumped the dorkmiester bandwagon and tried out World of Warcraft. Here is my character im a kick ass dwarf hunter who is always shoe less.
I only played it for about an hour or so it was ok i think i am missing the boat a bit as to why it is so popular but I will give it a few more chances to wow me before I go back to the Elderscrolls oblivion.

I also watched the half season premier of Heroes tonight with Toddy and Nessa. Fuck I love that show so much screw smallville (I saw the justice episode today and it didn't even compare). Heroes is like crack and i must have more more more.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

No dice and no brakes or muffler either

We took that 89 sunbird in for an inspection and it was a piece of shit. The whole underside was a mess. It just goes to show you always see a car in the light before committing to it (same goes for you people that pick guys up in the bar).

I met my dad's mechanic during the inspection. What a total hottie. 28ish 5'9 goatee, blue eyes, stocky/fit build. He kept leaning into me to show me stuff under the car and getting me to come closer to him. I was definitely getting a vibe but who knows maybe hes just got tiny "touch bubble" and doesn't mind people getting close. Either way I am definitely looking forward to seeing him again.

Here is a pic of me in the sunbird one last time as I took out my stereo, speakers and all my other stuff.

Went to Chels's last night with Tim to watch the my Edmonton Oilers get spanked (When is Low going to trade for a decent Defense man?????). They were playing a hockey drinking game with scotch and got pretty toasted. Hilarity ensued involving a yoga sex tape and me grating cheese while the two of them oggled me and cheered me on in a dirty way, when they were silent it was creepier. Hard to explain but it was god damn funny.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Newererer Car?

I go today to take the car we have been looking at in for an inspection. While it is getting inspected I will be with Julio my old car taking out the stereo and a bunch of other things.

For some reason the thought of doing all that to my poor old car makes me sad.

Update coming as soon as i find out if were getting this other car.

On an unrelated note I can't decide if Isaiah Washington is a gigantic douche or a turd sandwich. Perhaps he is both?? Discuss.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Ahhh beeefy man candy

Julio my car is gone. Apparently not even a sturdy mint condition 1984 pontiac Sun bird can survive a blown head gasket and busted berings. The tottal to fix it would have been obnoxious. My dad and I have been searching for a new car the last while and so far we have had a little luck. Found a really nice 1989 sunbird (i hate change) and now we are taking it in Friday to get it inspected. If it passes the inspection I think we will definitly buy it.

------------- Warning----------------
To all straight males you might as well move on at this point there isn't much for you after this point in the post.
------------- Warning----------------

I have been car pooling with my mom this week which hasn't been too bad. Though I could live without the getting up at 6:30. I have been listening to radio this week (all my CD's/MP3s are in Julio still). Now I hate radio. I find disk jockeys to be anoying and for the most part unimaginative (those fucking sound effects piss me off too) and in the moning the last thing i want is to listen to some douchebaggy testosterone guy try to be funny.

With the exception of one guy. Today I stumbled across his sexy voice while flipping through the channels and it brought back the little crush i used to have on him. Yes ladies and gents I could listen to The Bear's Yukon Jack all day and night. Ever since sonic 102.9 started I kind of forgot about him mostly because the Bear 100.3 plays way to much nickleback type shit for me to listen to it (not that sonic is any better anymore overplaying the red hot chili peppers and alice in chains).

Now I know what you are thinking radio guys are rarely hot, I mean they are on radio for a reason. Well you would be very wrong. Check him out.

I don't know about you guys but this pic tottaly indicates that hes a dom top :P

Now theres a boy you can take home to Mom.

Incedentally while i was looking for a pic for Yukon I found this insanely hot player for the Edmonton Eskimos that I thought I would share. His name is Adam Braidwood.

Ill take two of each thanks!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Private dick

Well don't I have a little mystery on my hands. Last night i received a comment on my blog to this post from ages ago. The comment is kind of out of the blue and took me off guard. So I got curious. Who is the person and what could have Scott possibly done to him to fill him with such venom.

Luckily this blog has a cool feature that I have through that lets you track and map visitors IP addresses through Google maps. It doesn't give you specifics just general areas.

Using my best sleuthing skills I went and found out who was looking at the blog around the time that I received the comment. Turns out they got through to the blog via my msn live space that only people on my list can see and surprise, surprise there only about 5 people on my msn list from ye olde cow towne.

The whole thing is very weird. I love when people comment on the blog but when it comes to posting anonymously at least have the balls to put your first name on the comment.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Thats a weird way to spend the night

Contrary to reports that my car is functioning as of yesterday morning it is very very dead. Saturday I went to Frank's birthday bash. It was pretty good, got nice and drunk, lost at poker and then apparently snored on the futon (I refuse to believe that I snore however, unless i really have gained too much weight).

Sunday I went to go start the car so we could go to breakfast and it started ok. We let it warm up but it kept stalling. After driving it for 2 blocks the whole engine seized up. It is so bad at this point that it wont even turn over. I just gave that fucking car a name and this is how it thanks me!?!

It is getting towed in about an hour to the shop. I hope it is not too expensive or i may find myself looking very hard for a sugar daddy (and with my newly fat ass i doubt i will be able to find one).

On an unrelated note: Last night I had the most fucked up dream. I was at this family Reunion /outdoor country music festival at a tropical resort on an island. Nelson Mandela was there and he was talking in Ukrainian to my Baba (apparently they are friends from waaay back). Half the cast from the young and the restless were there playing alternatively some of my family members or there characters on the show.

We danced and ate burgers and dealt with the usual family drama (only slightly more dramatically due to the soap stars). We swam in the clear blue water and drank fruity drinks. A distant volcano started to spew lava into the air. Some were concerned but most continued partying. At this point Mr. Mandela took me aside and started to give me some insights in the life and the world and what my responsibilities were to it. As we are talking more volcanoes start to erupt all around the resort. Soon the lobby is engulfed in flames and super hot lava and rock is hurtling through the air. We are all gathered at the main house trying to figure out what to do. Some members of the family leave in vehicles, most of us think they won't survive. Some of us want to stay and hope that the house will be fine. Mr. Mandela and I are still talking and he informs me that I should figure out what to do because I am best suited to lead the group to safety. I am doubtful to say the least. As I deliberate the whole island started to explode engulfing the beach below destroying the barn area. People are panicking and running for their lives.

I decide that we should all make for the yacht and try and get as far away from the island as possible. As we all run through the debris streaking through the air towards the dock something hits me and I get knocked out.

When i come to everyone is gone except for two Mormon missionaries and some guys with really bad mustaches and that's when i wake up.

I wonder what happened to everyone.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Can you believe people are acctually buying this crap?

As hard as I try to avoid this kind of garbage, the media frenzy over the whole Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell/Barbara Walters thing is really starting to annoy me.

Doesn't it seem convenient to anyone else that this is occurring right now when Trump's Apprentice LA is debuting?

Trump and Walters are friends and when Walters publicly admonished him last week much was said about how she looked beaten into it by O'Donnell. I didn't see that, I saw a woman with integrity doing something she was clearly uncomfortable with. Walters a former (emphasis on former) pillar of journalism, is clearly wanting to jump out of her skin and it is my little conspiracy theory that it was not speaking out against a close friend that was making here feel that way but taking part in this pathetic publicity stunt.

The whole thing reeks of spin and duplicity and the american media is eating it up. Thank god i live in Canada.

On a lighter note my car is now working after shoving it full of every defrosting fluid imaginable. I think I will name it Julio!

Then what am I?

I think the best thing so far about being out of school (other than not having to carry around an uber heavy backpack all day) is being able to read books for pleasure. It used to be that I would squeeze in a book during summer vacation. Usually the cheesier the better.

Last night I read the book Ryan bought me for Christmas. "I am not myself these days" by Josh Kilmer- Purcell is a memoir about Josh's life as a blooming achoholic drag queen/advertising assistant and his S&M escort boyfriend who has a blooming crack addiction and a penthouse suite.

Its hilarious its moving and it was totally not what I expected. But I think it was what I needed. I think I share a lot of traits with Josh. At points it was like I was reading my own memoir from an alternate universe. I guess that is the point of all good memoirs though. Still it has left me a little out of it (pages 32-33 hit me the hardest read it and find out why).

I always keep expecting these grand cinematic moments when your life changes. Those grand revelations where you discover your inner hubris and overcome it. I think I realize now that those moments don't really happen. Life moves inexorably forward and eventually the small changes accumulate and you become something entirely different than before.

I am often reminded of this when I run into an old friend from high-school, Grant MacEwan or psychology. I have changed so much in the past 7 years, some of it good some of it bad. When Phil and I broke up he mentioned how much of a different person I was since I went into business. I really didn't understand what he was talking about at the time but now I kind of get it. I am on the cusp of some really big changes in my life (moving out, coming out to my family) and for the most part I have been so focused on the big stuff that I have left the small changes go unnoticed even though it is these changes that are most likely to affect who the person is that I am becoming.

I just wonder if the me that appears in the future is someone I would like to be around.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

No thanks I will just take yours...

The worst blizzard of the last 19 years it was not. In fact I am doubting it was the worst blizzard in the last 2 years. The media sure does know how to hype a meteorological (firefox suggested the spelling on that work btw even though I don't think it looks right). Granted driving was a little interesting yesterday morning with total whiteout conditions but I have seen them worse, much worse.

As anticlimactic as this storm was It has claimed a victim. This morning my car refused to start despite the fact that I had it plugged in all night. I go to pop the hood...
Nope no go the latch is totally frozen on the inside of my car.

I ended up having to drive my Mom's car from her work and then picking her up after, which isn't bad because her car has heated seats and a numerous other amenities that pointiac did not consider in 1984 when my car was built.

There is some debate as to what is wrong, is it my lack of radiator fluid, a broken block heater or is my car mad at me because I never gave it a quirky car name like Bertha? All we do know is that it is frozen solid.

In Alberta it gets so cold that even the cars need blankets!

This is what I found waiting for me when I got home. We had to put space heaters underneath the engine just to get the hood open. This province can really suck sometimes.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Good good good BAD!!

I signed my contract today. I am officially The Manager of Information Technology and Special Projects. The only part of the whole thing that worried me was the section of the contract about the length of the contract "till the individual turns 35 or dies" (only in more legal terms lol). Thats pretty intense, talk about commitment.

I had a really odd night tonight. I went shopping with my 55 year old aunt to the army and navy department store for bathroom accessories. Now some would say that hanging out with a 55 year old is not so much fun but my aunt is a special lady very young at heart, thats probably why she gets called a cougar so often. We are both moving into new places in March so we figured it would be a good idea to go get stuff together. A&N was fun and sooo cheap i still managed to spend way too much on some nice bathroom stuff.

From there we went to Julio's barrio and pigged out on appetizers. There was a really hot cubby bartender there with a mowhawk that was i was trying not to ogle too hard. Damn he was hot!

Dropped my aunt off and then went out to the Sherlock Holmes pub downtown to meet up with Ev and my dear friend Ruby who is visiting from Toronto. It was great to catch up with them as I only get to see her two times a year (plus she reads this blog so i have to say nice things!!).

So all in all it sounds like a great night right??
After midnight left the girls as there were going to go dancing at New City suburbs' 80"s night, i was tired and needed my bed.

On the way home I am driving down 98th ave going east and this beat up POS of a truck rapidly pulls up[ behind me. It kind of swerves in the middle of the road as it passes me but not enough so that it wouldn't have hit me so i had to swerve into the oncoming lane (thank god there was no traffic at midnight). The shitty filthy thing flies past me and starts swearing between the lanes. I try and get closer to see his plates but they are crumpled and covered in dirt. A few blocks down I see him hit the curb in front of the police station and then continue swerving down the road (you know your fucked up when...). I called 911 as soon as i could get my phone out of my coat and they sent a description of the vehicle out to the cars as he headed south on 50th street. Fucker almost killed me! Goes to show you be careful out there folks you never know when random shit is going to happen.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

An open letter to certain parts of my body that will remain nameless

Things weren't always like this. It wasn't so long ago that we could frolic and run in the fields (not that we ever did but we certainly could have). We used to be fairly active working out three days a week weight training and overall just taking care of each-other.

What happened? What went wrong? Where did our relationship take such a perilous turn into a territory where a flight of stairs is impossible never mind frolicking of any kind (though anyone who has seen me frolic would consider that a fortuitous thing) (side note i think that is the first time i have ever used fortuitous yay me).

Today I walked briskly to the bathroom and was out of breath by the time I got the urinal (believe me you get some strange looks from people when you are wheezing and sweating at the urinals at work).

Do you remember taking this picture?

Now I admit we were no adonis but we were at least healthy! It was only three years ago when we were fit and could wear pants comfortably that didn't have any form of elastic in the waist.

Now look at us:

Now I am not blaming you. We have had a bunch of semi valid justifications for going down the way of chocolate pastries and backfat. Working a desk job and going to school full time seemed like a good excuse. Now that excuse is gone and we have got to get our shit together. I am tired of having to lift up my chin in pictures so that the neck fat doesn't bunch up. I mean look at what this guy said about us on

" December 18, 2006, 12:21 pm
like the soft little gut you have starting..."

Now I'm sure he was just being friendly but seriously what a way to start a new year.

So body we can do this lets get our fuzzy act together and get back to where we were and do away with the elastic pants!

Harder better faster stronger...

I am offically on day two of being a full time worker munkey/ex university student. The world didn't collapse and everything is pretty much as it was before when i was working here in the summer. It just feels a little more inexcapable. Not in a bad way however because i think this is a great oppourtunity to start some new good habits to replace my old ones. Its going to be an intense year.