Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Well I guess that is something we should commemorate

It just struck me as I was chatting with a friend online. Almost exactly 5 years ago today marked the first time I started coming out to people.

I did it over the course of a weekend in Canmore with my closest friends from high school. For the three weeks previous everyone assumed I was seeing someone but they thought it was a girl. It happened to be my first boyfriend Joe.

I came out to each of them in a different way. The best was perhaps my uptight metrosexual buddy Lucas. We all used to play this game called freakout. Basically it consisted of touching your friend in a safe spot and then slowly moving your hands towards there naughty bits. Who ever freaked out first the toucher or the touchee is the looser. Allison and I were the reigning champions of freakout, Lucas was the perennial loser.

After coming out to the girls we all decided to head down to the resort pool. I knew the time was perfect to fuck with Lucas' head. So while we were relaxing in the pool i started playing footsie with him. Now by this point he was pretty accustomed to it. The subject came up of who I was dating i mentioned it was a boy. He, thinking i was joking, played along. Of course my game of footsie cranked up an notch.

I got the girls to swim over to confirm the sex of my boyfriend. Lucas procedded to look down between his legs. The smile momentarily left his face. Then the blood sort of drained away.
You could see the gears grinding in his head. Then he lifted up his head smile back on and said, "So thats why you always win at freakout!"

To celebrate here are some pics of hot guys:

And it still hurts.

I think many of us are still reeling from the Ryan Smyth trade. I think this quote from the CBC comment page sums it up really damn well:

Griffin O'Neil
It was around 3:30 Atlantic Time when I felt a great disturbance in the Force. Like a million voices crying out...and then were silent.

I also found this great blog that basically sums up the problems with the oilers organization as a whole. Its probably one of the most thoughtful yet searing comments on the oilers and the new NHL as a whole, that I have read since the lockout.

In other disappointing news Joe.My.God a New York based blogger has decided to start including advertisements on his incredibly popular site. Joe has always been by far my favorite gay bloggers. His writing is insightful, touching and often hilarious. He is a man that has seen a lot in the gay community and more than once I have found myself reduced to tears at his stories.

It is strange how we can build emotional attachments to things and people over the internet that we have never met, and likely will never really see or really communicate with directly. I understand that Joe has full right to try and make some cash for his efforts it just seems to cheapen that tenuous (and realistically, ridiculous ) emotional tie.

In the end I guess it is good for him and really what is the big deal? There are way more important things to worry about in this day and age.

Like whether the oilers are going to make the playoffs or not next year.

Try to remember your priorities people.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Good bye Smitty, hope you come back in the summer!

Well Kevin Lowe is really trying to lose his job at this point.

It was just announced that that he has traded the heart and soul of the Edmonton Oilers RYan Smyth to the Islanders for two prospects Robert Nilsson and Ryan O'Marra.

What the hell was he thinking? Lowe has sat on his ass all season and this is his big move to gut soul out of the team. I expect the fans are going to revolt over this. No one is happy in oil town.

I am not impressed at all. So much for the new NHL this reminds me a lot of the bad old times.

My only consolation is that we may resign Ryan back this summer as he is an unrestricted free agent but that seems unlikely.

What a clusterfuck of a season.

Its a hard life being a pimp

As some of you know I have a part time contract going on right now that involves building a web-store for an established rubber fetish site.

So far it has been a lot of fun and the site is really coming together. It is still a few months from release but I am really happy with the progress so far. (Now if only the assholes over at LuLu.com would get me the correct book I ordered, instead of this Chinese e-commerce book they sent me I will be a happy camper.) One of the big parts of having to do the site revamp is getting new models to display the product.

The budget is tight, so its hard to find guys willing to work for rubber gear who are also willing to show their faces online. I have been asking around pretty casually just to see if some of my kinkier friends would be interested and sure enough some are.

Today the owner of the site jokingly called me a pimp and I guess I kind of am acting as one in a way because I am profiting off this contract.
Now checking my pimp list of mst have pimpin items I find that I already have a scary amount of them:
- Insanely pimpin fur coat {Check}
- Kicky Italian leather boots (70's style){Check}
- Purple velvet pants {Check}
- Cheesy and mildly pathetic facial hair {double check}
- Slightly beat up yet classy car with kickin sound system {check}

I should have known after taking this pic that i was born to be a pimp:
Now all I need is a hat with a feather in it, a cane and some gold teeth. Bring on the bitches!

Monday, February 26, 2007

The bulkier the better

My Mom in her infinite wisdom decided to take me shopping for basics for the condo that she thinks I will forget. Since she was paying I was all over it.

We hit up superstore and ended up buy a whole ton of bulk stuff. The one thing we didn't get in bulk that I wish we had is Febreeze I am going to need a lot to neutralize the smell thats in the place right now.

The bill came to $214.00 I almost fell over. I didn't think it was that much. Real world living is going to be expensive :(

Just doing my best

So i have a friend who is a medic. He lost his first patient on Friday night. For various reasons the death was compounded by other factors making it much harder on the medics involved. They of course did the best they could and the death was not anything they could have prevented.

Understandably this has kind of fucked my friend up. I tried my best to be supportive and provide a sounding board for them because I know they don't have a lot of support where they are located. I stayed away from giving advice and just let him vent to me about what he was going through. Besides what could i really say that would help the situation?

So this goes on for about 45 min and then he snaps and then proceeds to throw my attempts at being supportive back in my face. Now I have come to accept a certain level of emotional immaturity from this friend but seriously how many chances should one person get? I know he is going through a rough patch (that seems to be unending) and I am trying to be understanding but I am seriously getting tired of this stuff. Am I being an oversensitive egocentric douchebag?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

What a difference a year makes.

Exactly a year ago today I was in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. I really miss the place so much. I would go back in a second! Here are some pics from the trip:
One of the best parts about swimming in the ocean is the fact that it made my hair spikey all the time no gel needed (if that isn't in the top ten gayest things I have ever said i don't know what is). See below for proof.
Went shopping with Ryan today to Ikea. Bought a ton of stuff for the condo. I really think things are coming together for it. I still have a list of things i need but it is getting smaller i think. I worry about getting too much stuff there because I don't want to look like a place out of an Ikea catalog.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The music munkey

I am currently knee deep in new music thanks to some recent finds and Ryan's good taste. So far as i go through all the cd's to see which ones have the sublime pleasure of being played on my car stereo, which is sextastic by the way thanks for asking, the stand outs have to be "The Gossip".

They say they play mostly dance punk music but when I listen to there current cd "standing in the way of control" I get a distinctly soul vibe. Its like someone took the vocalist from some classic soul train singer and threw her in a punk band. It fucking rocks.

Check out there music on myspace betch!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Gateway's Purity Test 2007

Every year the U of A student paper puts out an in depth purity test. Usually it is worth a few chuckles.

We normally all get together on the Friday after it is released and do it while drinking copious amounts while making fun of those with scores lower than us (while simultaneously being appalled at a few guilty parties' insanely high scores).

This years was good. I scored 315 (five higher than last year). That score officially puts me at this level:
Oblivion: 276+
Holy Shit! You’re so bad not even Satan himself will touch you. There isn’t even an afterlife for people like you; instead, you wink out of existence upon your death. You probably shouldn’t have shot up on heroin and then masturbated with the syringe—or shot a man in Reno just to watch him die—and then skull-fuck the hate away—but this pale in comparison to that time you jizzed all over your napping grandfather in front of your grandma’s bridge group after you defecated on the automatic card-shuffler and did all that coke off of their plastic-covered couch. Killing all those unwed mothers didn’t help you either, even if you were just meting out justice on behalf of God.


Seriously i haven't done any of that shit. Heres a pic of me from the fringe this summer its my "hes a cookin a somethin up" face. *laughs evilly*

Monday, February 19, 2007

Hockey and Men two of my favourite things.

So Kevin Lowe the GM of my Edmonton Oilers finally made a trade today.

Since the beginning of the season everyone has known that we needed an offensive defense man or 2 if we had a chance at running for the cup. Lowe sat on his ass all season and now makes a trade of Bergeron for some prospect we wont see till next season. All I can say is he better be doing this as a precursor to another trade this week.

This is a total kick in the pants to fans and indicates that the Oilers management has given up on this season entirely. Where is Eric Brewer when you need him.

I have not been posting much the last while for a few reasons. Valentines day was last week and as much as I hate to admit it I kept thinking about my past relationships. The week of valentines was when i got my first boyfriend Joe all those years ago and it also marked the beginning of my year and a half with Phil. This year's valentines would have marked 6 months for Kyle and I, alas we are still on our weird, nebulous "break" while he is working up north and sorting his life out.

I have a good idea about what I want from a partner and it is just frustrating that it is so hard to find. My question is why are the majority of gay men so messed up? They can't seem to hold jobs or save money or set long term goals. Never mind the issues with intimacy, honesty, narcotics and self-understanding.

This is not a bitter posting by any means or a posting about a particular person, just a general question I am putting out to you all.

What do you think?
And will the Oilers make the playoffs?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Location Location Location

I sometimes wonder what the hell I am doing living in Alberta. The politics are uber conservative and the winters generally blow.

Then a morning like today occurs and I am reminded why I love it here. The winds stopped and for the first time in a while the windchill factor was not a big concern. The temperature rose and snow started to gently fall in a rockwellian display of winter.

There is something about that odd silence that can fill a city when the snow is gently falling.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I guess that makes me edjumacated

I received an email today from the University of Alberta informing me that my Bachelors of Commerce degree has been granted. I officially have a BComm in small business management and entrepreneurship to go alongside my BA in psychology. I will receive the actual paper on June 13th at convocation (that also happens to be the same day that I am coming out to my family).

It was a long road and I am glad it is done.

To calibrate we had Quiznos my favorite fast food and now i am watching my fav shows (veronica mars, Battlestar Galactica and Lost).

Favorite quote so far "Sometimes when things don't work out the way a girl wants them to, there is nothing quite as satisfying as the hissy fit". God love ya Veronica.
I am one happy munkey tonight!

The Valentine's day blog post with special guest star Feist

Until I can find the real thing, I guess I will listen to songs about it.

Fiest: Mushaboom

Helping the kids out of their coats
Oh wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

Happy valentines day today! Do yourself a favour forgo the chocolates and cards and replace them with some genuine sentiment.
Cheers

A response

In Response to Ryan who writes:

Dear Aaron,

I am a twink stuck in a cub's body. I'm not sure what to do.

Please advise.

Well Ryan it depends on what you want to do with that twink inside of you. Given your past history and your taste for twinkyer types you probably want to fuck the hell out of it. I don't advise this as self fornication is a difficult task and not for the faint of heart. Alternatively you could buy some hip hugger diesel jeans, whip out that sparkly lipgloss, get a fake tan, crank up your Madonna (Cher will do to) and start shaking your grove thang at the bar 6 nights a week.

On second thought maybe going to fuck yourself would be the easier option.
As you always say "make good choices".
Love ya!
Aaron

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tabula Rasa

It is funny how we tell ourselves we need things that in reality we could live quite happily without. I do this a lot, I don't know if it is a cultural thing either because everyone in my family seems to do it a lot too. It is so easy to fall into the mindset of "I deserve this" or "I need that"and it seems like that train of thought is behind all of the many evils and bad habits in my life. I tell myself i need a chocolate when i am at work and stressed. I tell myself I deserve that beer (though it has been a very long time since i have said that, one of the things I miss about school is it always gave you reason to drink) or that slice of cake or that plate of nachos. This even relates to wanting a boyfriend.

I always say those people that declare that they don't need anyone in there life are the best self deceivers ever (they also tend to be the same people that start deperately trolling the bar at 2:30 looking to find something warm to take home), so don't get me wrong here that is not what I am saying. I just think this self pampering mindset is pervasive in many areas of my life.

I have decided to ignore that voice in my head that is constantly telling me I will need X to make Y better or to make up for Z. My whole life is going through this paradigm shift and that way of thinking is not going to be adaptive in the coming months. I managed to do a similar thing four years ago when I was breaking up with my first boyfriend Joe. I finally said no to myself and ended up losing 15 pounds of fat and gaining almost 2o in muscle. I was eating right sleeping well and generally felt really good about myself. Alas this period fell apart while working two jobs and going to school full time (with some volunteering thrown in for good measure).

This isn't just about my body image issues (hey we all have em) its more about me trying to start this next chapter of my life on the right foot, without the clutter of past hubris. I guess the only way to do this is to start expecting more of myself.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Not so impressed

I went to put my digital camera in my backpack only to find that the lcd screen on it has been shattered. I have no idea how this could have happened.

Anyone know of any good cheap digital cameras?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Beefy Hot Studs

So apparently I need a hobby.

I think I am going to ogle hotties.
Enjoy.
And my fav

An Open Letter to Hershey's Kisses.

Oh you adorable little things are everywhere these days. Valentines day is fast approaching and you shiny red and silver buggers are popping up like zits on a band geek.

Conceptually I think you are a good idea kisses, really I love chocolate and chocolate related holidays. There is one problem however.

You taste like the most disgusting rotten chocolate I have ever had the displeasure of eating.

I once found a stashed bag of chocolate in my closet when i was about 13. We have to hide sweets around my house or else my dad pigs out on them.

It was clearly a stash of my Easter candy. Easter having only been a few months ago i proceeded to raid it thoroughly. It was only later that I found out that it was not last years Easter candy (that my Mom had recently thrown out) but candy from like 5 years earlier.

Hershey the chocolate you put in your kisses is even grosser than the dried out crap i ate in the closet that night. I don't know why but just the smell of it grosses me out.

Now cadbury they know chocolate and it doesn't smell like feet. Go try some good chocolate and find out what it is like.

Funny how something so big can be weightless

I signed my mortgage papers yesterday. It was a fairly simple straightforward process just a handful of papers. I think it is insane how much money banks make though. The nickle and dime you every chance they get. Ill be rich in 5 years though so it won't matter.

Its weird, today i am 166 thousand dollars in debt to the banks and I don't feel any different. I have spent so many years avoiding being in debt and now i find it isn't that scary at all. Business school really did change me.

I am totally pumped about the fact that I don't have to pay for the first month of possession! More money for the renovations!

Things seem to be falling into place in most areas of my life. It is going to be an expensive next few months but in the end i think it will be worth it.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Ill take none of the above thank you.

I officially donated Julio my beloved Pontiac to the Kidney Car donation program. Also found out that my new car is going to be costing me a bunch more money than I planned.

I find that lately I have been expecting the worst case scenario all the time. While that is prudent planning to hope for the best plan for the worst I find that I am becoming increasingly negative towards the world as a whole.

Not even a media frenzy last night of two of my favorite shows could really perk me up. I found out from an online chat bud that Little Britain released 2 more episodes over Christmas!! I thought for the longest time they were totally done with the series. Yes the second and third series are pretty lame compared to the first one but over all they are still pretty awesome. I watched the first episode last night it was reliable and funny but nothing great. Lost was also reliable but not great, I think Heroes has officially replaced it in my heart.

Its boardmeeting day at work today, all the big inevstors from Calgary are in which means I have the office to myself for most of the day.

Oh I almost forgot, I go to the bank today to sign my papers for the mortgage.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

OOOooooOOOoo dorkalicious

While most people are 90% water I am 90% nerd when it comes to cool techy things and this fun little toy may be the coolest thing I have seen in a while.
The Vonage V phone is a mobile phone account that you just plug into any PC with a high speed connection and bang you have your vonage phone account with you. No instaling no restarts just instan phone action. Which means you can take your home phone anywhere with you. How cool is that?
I think I want one for the condo since shaw digital phone is so damn expensive (shaw sucks anyway).
hmmmmmmm

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

BALLs everywhere!!

A ton of stuff has been happening the last few days. My possession date for the condo has tentatively been moved back to the 15th of March which gives me a little more time to get my act together financially. Its a good thing I didn't order my cable and phone yet i would have been super pissed to pay for a month where I am not even going to be able to use it. This pushes my move in date closer to the 25th or 30th which kinda sucks as i was hoping for two weeks on my own before Ryan moved in on April 1st. You know just so i could walk around naked and have a place to myself.

I officially have a lawyer as of today and Thursday I have to go to the bank and sign my papers.

Tomorrow I take the car in to get the tires checked and the wheel alignment looked at (after Saturday's near death experience).

I am really getting pissed off as a bunch of people are not getting back to me and it is very frustrating.

It feels like i am juggling a bunch of balls right now I hope it gets less hectic.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Far too close for comfort

After spending 6 hours out in the cold attempting to install my car stereo (thanks for the help Mikey!) I went and met up with a bunch of people at the roost. I don't know what it is about that place but every time I go there I feel like the shy 15 year old kid I used to be. Vanessa brought up the question of whether it was the fact that i felt others were more advanced than me or i was more advanced than them that was causing the awkwardness. I don't really think it is either it just seems monotonous with the same old people doing the same old things and it seems like there is a lot of fakeness around and i just have no urge to participate. Maybe part of the problem is I don't go there to pick up and the Parkies never seem to want to come with me, not that I blame them really i just wish they could hang out with me there once in a while.

On the way home I was merging the car onto the yellowhead highway off of 97th street and for some reason the car spun totally out of control. I went across 4 lanes of the highway and did a full 360 almost hitting both cement sides. Now most people I know say they see there lives flash before there eyes or that things seem to be happening in slow motion. But as it was happening all i could think about was making sure I didn't scratch my new car and how i was never going to be able to explain this to my folks.

Vanessa and I still aren't sure how it happened. I was accelerating at a reasonable rate and the road seemed clear. I was almost as if the cars tires were not connected to the steering wheel for a split second. I am worried it might be the tires or something worse.

We were very lucky. The road was deserted and the one car behind us stopped immediately once it saw that we were having problems. Still you always wonder if you will be able to get yourself out of accident situations, I am pretty pleased with the way I got us back under control so at least that is a silver lining.

In related news I have officially christened the car Condolezza. At Ryan's suggestion I think it fits her just fine. Shes a prim and proper car that can be a tough bitch and does what she wants. I still love her though

Friday, February 02, 2007

And I think i am in love.

So here she is. She looks silver in this light but can go from anywhere to purple to bluish depending on the light. 1989 Toyota Cressida, ac, automatic cruise control and plush faux velvet seats you know its hot!

All I need now is name for her. If you have one that may fit please add a comment. Coolest comment gets attached to her!


My adventures in tech support hell 1

Some days i love my job and others it blows royally.
I am on the phone right now with a person who needed to be told that in order to get a : instead of a ; you need to press" shift+; ".

Actually its isn't my job that blows royally sometimes its the people.

UUUG i need a beer

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Its car time!!

In a couple of hours I will be going to go pick up my new(er) car! I am so excited I may have just peed a little :P
Pictures to come (of the car not the pee spot) later on tonight.

Because someone said so like a really really long time ago and it got written down.

I am usually a pretty understanding person but this whole sextuplet controversy in BC really proves to me that all religions should be banned.

Because of a couple of lines on some paper in a book that has been re translated about a 1000 times since it was originally written a very long time ago, the parents of the sextuplets have allowed two of there prematurely born children to die.

Why you ask?

Because they are stupid! Now don't be getting on my case about being understanding of other peoples religion. I am very understanding and accepting of others for the most part but I can not tolerate blind obedience and individuals who do not think for themselves or question what they have been told. I come from a mixed religion family, my father was a protestant my mother Ukrainian Greek orthodox and I went to a catholic school. Other than the occasional yearly feast with the Ukrainian side of the family none of these religions have impressed me. In fact the catholics have treated my family like shit on more than one occasion, but i digress. These parents who claim that they love there kids refused to allow blood transfusions to be performed on them simply because it says in the bible to avoid blood products.

If i were to tell you that I found a message scraped into a cave wall from a thousand years ago that said that it was from god and that I shouldn't wear pants anymore, everyone would think I am crazy and i would eventually get arrested for indecent exposure (and probably freeze my nuts off, fuck its cold out today!). Religion is always really absurd when you break it down into specifics.

This is further proof that people are too stupid to be allowed to get involved in organised religion. For once in my life I think I agree Elton John now that is scary.

Kudos go to the BC government who took three of the surviving children into custody and gave them blood transfusions.