Thursday, March 27, 2008

Harder better faster stronger # 2

My parents have this scale at their place. Its one of those uber trendy body mass calculators that you input your age and height and it tells you what your body fat % is and where you are health wise.

Now i confess I don't quite understand the technology behind it and I have a hard time fully trusting the results it gives. It all seems like the modern version of the snakeoil salesman to me.

None the less my family suckered me into trying the scale a couple of months ago before I worked out. The results were devastating. The cold metal machine cheerily informed me that not only was I fat but i was OVERFAT. I didn't even know that was a rating. Now its one thing when your roommate or mother calls you fat. They are people filled with subjective opinions. But a machine... a cold hard calculating machine?!? There's no arguing with that. What a blow to the ego.

Maybe the machines have taken over but instead of dropping nukes on the human population to destroy us (a la terminator or battlestar) they have wormed their way into our bathrooms to ruin our self esteem and poke fun at our love handles. Why destroy us when they can keep us around for entertainment?

So here are my results from 2 months ago:
Overall rating: Overfat
Body fat %: 29.8%
Weight: 170.2 lbs

Here are my results AFTER my big Easter dinner on Sunday (i forgot to measure before so things would have looked even better):
Overall rating: Overfat (fucking machines!)
Body fat %: 25.2%
Weight: 162.3 lbs

Net change
Body fat % = 4.6%
Weight: 7.9 lbs

Now while i am still overfat I have dropped a lot of bad weight and reduced my body fat content by a whole bunch. I think in a few more percentage points I will just be plain old fat. I can't wait for that. Ill show that machine who is boss.

Viva la Human emancipation for freedom from smarmy bathroom scales!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

overfat? which fucktard came up with that category?

Aaron said...

the machine overlords of course!