I like being able to fly under the radar. Go do my thing without attracting too much attention. It seems however that doing so is no longer an option.
One of the things that I realized at this years rodeo (pictures to be posted tomorrow) is that the community is small very small and it is easy to get "known". Now whether this prior knowledge is a good or bad thing I can't tell. What i can say is I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with it.
There comes a time when you realize that stuff you post online really does have a life of its own. Your pictures your words have a way seeping into places you never expected and used for things you never intended. For the most part I am ok with it. It is the tradeoff you take for giving yourself a platform such as this to communicate your thoughts and feelings.
It is when this digital exposure gets extended into the real world that I get concerned. I had not even finished putting up my tent at the rodeo before I heard a holler from the group of older gentlemen next door.
"hey, arn't you famous?" Followed by some giggling and knowing looks.
"I think I know you from somewhere." Piped up one of the others.
I strolled up to them to see what they were talking about. They proceeded to hand me a copy of outlooks and a copy of gay Calgary magazines. Both of which I had pictures of me in my harness and undies from the last beef party. The guys next door ribbed me about it all weekend. Kept asking for a show. I know they were just doing it all in good fun but I have to admit im a bit torn about the attention.
Versions of the "hey i saw you in XXXXXXX" conversation happened like 6-7 times that weekend usually with people I was accquainted with or people I didn't know at all. The attention seeking famewhore in me loved it but the professional adult trying to build a career for himself was worried with the connotations that people were taking away from those photos.
I have decided that those things while more tangible than online activites are ultimatly the same. They only have power over you if you let them do so. I have bigger things to worry about than my reputation. Let them judge all they want I wont change because of it.