Sunday, March 08, 2009

An Open Letter to IMAX

Last night my friends and I went to go see a certain superhero epic at an IMAX theatre. Now yes your screen size is impressive and your sound system is bangin but seriously if i have to sit through your introductory laser show pissing contest one more time I am going to scream.

You see IMAX you have had pretty much the same laser show introduction to your massive theater system since I have been going to IMAX when i was 6. As a bright eyed 6 year old your fancy laser show and self flagellation was impressive and really cool. The problem is that was 1988 and you haven't changed anything since. 20 god damn years and no changes!

Seriously its 2009 and all you can manage is a fucking lame bare bones graphic laser show and horrifically dated audio production. Pull your heads out of your asses. No one wants to sit for 10-15 minutes watching you jerk off about how awesomely big your junk is. You could easily par down the show to a 3 min semi 3d demo with a cool audio visualizer like milkdrop. All you are doing right now is making yourself look dated and ridiculous. Do you like the fact that everyone was laughing at you and not cheering with you as you flaunt your 6 story screen.

And by the way we decided in the car ride home that the best and final use of lasers was in the Jennifer Lopez video waiting for tonight. So unless you can do something fresh or better than that it is best to pack that shit away to 1984 where it belongs.

Thanks you for your time.

A concerned theater goer.


Eddie said...

Excessive use of lasers should be reserved for shows set to the music of Pink Floyd and other classic rock bands- pretty much the music that was popular when lasers were new and cool. lol

Anonymous said...

I also went to see a superhero movie recently and I loved the laser intro! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, it's sooo funny! I love when the music notes are flying around singing "yeah yeah yeah" and then the bass comes in all deep, sooo cool! IMAX don't ever change! I would pay $14.50 just to see that intro again. I actually found this post by trying to find that intro online each their own opinion but does it really make you mad?

Aaron said...

I just think it super tacky and not achieving the purpose they intend. I really do feel like its a massive waste of time