I think most “good quality gay couples” accept monogamy by default and I happen to think that is the very best kind of relationship to have. In our society, monogamy is so pervasive that there’s really no acceptable alternative. I would think, and simply assume - that most gay male couples are content to follow the trend - and live under the concept of monogamy.
One of the things I have always found intriguing about being gay was it allowed you to pull yourself out of a hetero-normative world view and really question the validity of the social structures that surround us. I think questioning and exploring alternatives to the status quo is probably one of the most valuable habits a person can pick up.
So i thought to myself are most of the "good quality gay couples" i know willing to live under the concept of monogamy? The answer is most definitely no. All of my closest friends who also happen to be in long term relationships right now engage in at least some level of non-monogamous activity. This isn't even a generational divide it seems as they range in age from late 40's to early 20's. Some are legally married and have been together for over 10 years and others are at the beginning of something and others are straight couples that are exploring. It has been a running joke for a while now that we only make friends with sluts (because sluts are more fun :P) but i think that really white washes things.
These are people in happy committed relationships that have decided as a couple to explore alternatives to monogamy either as a couple or separately. I don't think this lessens the value or strength in the relationship however i am sure it has killed some relationships in the past but then so has monogamy.
I have always thought that following trends was not my thing (though to a certain extent it is unavoidable) however monogamy is not an institution that I am married to. I really do believe that it is far more valuable for couples to have open honest discussions about what they really want and don't want in a relationship rather than hope that this commitment to the institution of monogamy will get them through.
This world and life is such a vast adventure and I can't understand why we would artificially limit ourselves especially when you have a stable loving partner to explore with you.
So are you monogamous or open?