Thursday, December 23, 2010

You get what you deserve

I skipped boot camp on Tuesday after doing some marathon shopping.  I was hesitant to go tonight as the fella and my friend Tim went to sushi buffet for lunch and I was so full the thought of doing sprints and burpees was less than appealing.

The fella convinced me to go.  When I got there I thought maybe that class was cancelled as no one else was there.  I find out it is just me and the instructor for the class.   She decided to give me an intense one on one training session to make up for missing Tuesday and for the pending perogy onslaught that will be my family dinner tomorrow.  The workout was intense.  I was one wasabi burp away from resurfacing the gym a few times. 

We planned to go see Tron legacy tonight but I am far too wrecked to haul ass to the busiest mall in Edmonton on the busiest shopping day of the year.  

I may make the fella carry me around the next day or so in a giant baby bjorn just until my muscles regain some composure.

Next week i will be doing my 2 month body picture comparison update.  I hoping it shows as much change as I feel. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In the Jungle

Today the fella and I did a good chunk of our christmas shopping at west ed.   The mall was super crazy.  I am glad we got out of the place by 4:30 before the after work crowd makes it out.

I have about 3 more gifts to get and I know what they all are so it should be a quick matter to run out tomorrow and then do all the wrapping. 

I am not a big fan of shopping and the whole commercialism that permeates this holiday really sucks.   Maybe next year I will do custom portraits for everyone.

On an unrelated note check out this trailer for Hannah.  This movie looks fucking awesome!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Lock the Back Door

I have been working crazy hours.  My christmas tree is not up ( I really want one of these to make it easier).  We have almost no food left at home other than cookies and I have gotten 0 christmas shopping done. I am feeling a little behind on things

I have been listening to Christmas radio station at work trying to get into the christmas spirit.

That is where I heard this filthy terrible hilariously bad song called Back Door Santa.

I was so grossed out when I heard it I had to read the lyrics and the singer comes off as a creepy molester who gives his gift to all the girls while the boys are out.   How this song became a blues christmas classic is beyond me.  They should have called it afternoon anal santa.

So here it is Back Door Santa, Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

This could get messy

I fully support Wikilinks and what they are doing.  For the most part i think that transparency is of increasing importance.   

Governments and big corps are so intertwined at this point how this is all playing out is fascinating.  With anonymous and 4chan attacking anti-wikilinks sites.  

Freedom of speech is too important and precious to allow those with money to take it from us for our own "safety".

Gizmodo just posted a link to an application called the low orbit ion canon which allows you to participate in DDOS attacks without really needing to know anything about them.  The potential of this kind of application is terrifying.   

A a protest tool I think it is fantastic but I worry about where things like this will lead in the long run.

I have a feeling anon and 4chan are going to be stirring up some major shit over the next while.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Such a waste

Why must the super hot muscle cubs almost always be fucked up and evil?? I am hoping it is him not dealing well with his repressed urges for manlovin.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Put the dog down already

I was at first really concerned when apple announced the end of the xserve line.  My company had invested in two xserves last year.

There are some great things on the xserve for small businesses.  After spending 20 hours (yes 20) trying to restore a server that stopped functioning after swapping in a new backup drive (ironic isn't it) I am inclined to think that Apple killed the xserve simply because it was a shitty product.  I expect they will do the same for the os x server by the time lion comes out.  

Enterprise grade servers should not stop functions or break raid when drives are plugged in.  Headless servers should not loose screen sharing functionality after reboots.   Open directory should not stop authenticating all of its users after rebooting.  LOM management software should not freeze almost every time it tries to reboot servers.

Everything about the OS X snow leopard server from the management software to the reliability of the systems is half baked.  It really shows apples lack of commitment to the platform and to enterprise clients.  Now I am not saying I am a perfect administrator far from it.  My main issue is that these products are marketed to small companies as a simple easy to manage solution.  They are far from it.  

I can't even tell you how many hours I have wasted on these systems after  something stopped working for no reason.   Or how many edits I have had to make to obscure configuration files that an average small business user would never fucking touch.

Apple prides itself on user experience and having things just work.   This has not been my experience at all.   I never thought I would say this but it makes me yearn for linux and I fucking hate using the terminal.

Maybe with an app store architecture to support server users we will have something that actually works until then fuck you xserve and the lies you rode in on.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010


There is a bunch of things I want to talk about from the Alberta Conservative government's leaked plans to privatize healthcare to the massive success we had with the bear party on the weekend.

It has been the week from hell however and I can not seem to muster up the ooomph to put my thoughts together in a coherent way.

So instead I will direct to you some of the best damn dork porn I have ever seen.  So many talented concept artists out there.  It makes me so jealous.

Here is a sample:

More here.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Cubs and otters and bears oh my!

This is the weekend of the BEEF Fall Bear Bash!
It looks like the turnout will be a bit smaller than the summer one.  Grey Cup weekend in Edmonton has made it so that no one can get a hotel room in the city without auctioning off an organ.  Additionally there are some other great events going on in the province like the Argra christmas dance.

I am all ready to go with my new Utilikilt and harness and it looks like it is going to be hovering around -3 so I shouldn't freeze my poor nuts off if I go commando as one should with a kilt.

It looks like we are going to have about 10 people staying at the condo this weekend.  I am not quite sure where everyone is going to fit but I think we can make it work.

If you were thinking about coming and not sure if it is your scene or don't know anyone please email me and I can give you the rundown on what to expect!

I wanted to post the poster I did up for it one more time as I am really please with how it turned out, it is probably the best thing I have ever done.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sweet dreams of a teenage twink

While watching the last nights Kurt centric love-in on Glee I finally get what the show is about.   You see I have a problem with musicals.  I have trouble suspending disbelief when they break into perfectly choreographed pitch perfect dance numbers.  I think the theater queen in me died a long time ago.

I think that is why I was never really on the glee train.  I like it but it always seemed off for me.  Watching Glee today I realized it.  This show is not about a young group of misfits trying to sing their way to the top its about the vivid fantasy life of a young gay boy in suburban Ohio.  

In fact this whole thing may even be a prolonged comatose dream.  The series opened with a scene of Kurt getting thrown into a garbage bin.  Maybe he hit his head and everything since has been a fabulous theater gay's wet dream.  

It is pretty brilliant when you think about it.  The creators could have never sold a show to fox called "Sweet Dreams of a Teenage Twink".   I bet the whole series ends with Kurt waking up from his coma only to find he has been on a journey in his head very similar to the classic Canadian series The Odyssey.

So now I think I will be able to enjoy the perfectly choreographed dance numbers because there is at least a plot device that explains the ridiculous dancing and singing (like that amazing buffy episode).

I do know however if a beefy cub of a football player kissed me roughly in the locker room in my coma dream things would have gone much differently.   I doubt however it would pg rated.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Music Monday: For your Health

This is usually a little more electronicy than I go but I have to say the whole disk ::Disco2 by HEALTH is pretty stellar.

This is my fav USA Boys.  Atmospheric with a bit of an edge I love it!

Friday, November 19, 2010

New body is right

Last night I spent an hour getting my ass kicked by a petite brunette.   Now before you get worried that I have started batting for the other team don't.  She wasn't even wearing leather or anything and I still very much like the peen.

Boot camp at New body Health and Wellness is going really well.  Thats not to say the classes themselves are getting any easier.  In fact I am certain they are getting much much harder.   Every class is like a new adventure in "WTF muscle is that??" and "OMG make the pain stop!".

I have managed to drop 5-6 pounds without really changing my diet.  What is really impressive however is how I feel (when I am not feeling incredibly sore post boot camp).  I was so incredibly out of shape before doing this it was insane even walking to work feels different now.  I can jog a block or 2 without getting winded stairs are not the challenge they were before.   I should be in pretty good shape in time for the Bear Party on the 27th.

At this point I have 10 days left on my trial.   I am debating on whether or not I should continue with the classes.  The fella has already decided that the classes don't work with his schedule its tough for him to make it from the west end from work.  It sucks because it is nice having him there to partner up with.  It also gives me someone to compete with.   I think it all depends on the price at this point and if we could maybe find a class that runs from 6:30 to 7:30 somewhere else.  We were thinking of joining a gym but there is no way I would ever get the workout I do now at the gym.

I will be doing a before and after pic on the 27th to show my progress!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

No room for that kind of hate

Apparently the crazy assholes from the westboro church are coming to edmonton to protest the Exposure festival's production of the Laramie Project.

A counter protest called God loves fags is already in the works!  Check out the link for the facebook page! Lets show these bigots that there is no room for hate in this city. The fella and I are going to see the play tomorrow I will bring my cam incase I run into any crazies.  I love my people.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Life in the 21st century

Its all so causal and easy how we go about our lives online. We click "I like" we add friends, we plug rss feeds into readers.  Occasionally  we pipe up with smart remark,  a comment,  condolence or support of some kind, for these people in our pseudo social networks.   People we will never meet in person or touch.  Its all so easy, so casual.
Some would take this ease as sign of it also being cheap but I totally disagree with that train of thought.
I know it is not cheap because of how I feel when we lose a voice from the cacophony of our digital networks.  

This last week we lost a man who (among many other things) is a good soul, a talented artist and a wonderful writer.  I only knew Marcos through his and his wonder partner Allan's blogs.
When you read a great blog it feels like you are sitting in the person's kitchen over a cup of tea.  Thats what his and Allan's blogs are like. The greatest gift of the internet is the amazing people it can connect us to that we would never have a chance to meet in person.  Marcos was one of those people.  His wisdom and perspective will be missed greatly.

We all go through our lives only appreciating people once they are gone.  This was true before the internet and it is true now.  So appreciate how rich your life is and the people that make it so.  Just take a moment and take stock of everyone who touches your heart or mind on a regular basis regardless of if it is online or in real life and be thankful for them.

Friday, November 05, 2010

This worries me (said in the style of Tim Gunn)

Apple has decided to discontinue the Xserve rack mounted server as of next year.  This is pretty heartbreaking for me as I have spent the last year and a half learning how to administer osx servers.  A ton of time and a lot of my companies money was spent investing in these things.

I am worried that when 10.7 comes out next summer there wont even be a server version.

Now i understand that business is not Apple's main client segment but there are a ton of small and large businesses that have significantly invested in the platform.  I have no idea what our alternative would be.  We chose the mac specifically because it was so user friendly and had GUI that allowed you to manage most everything from VPN to mail service.  

I can only hope that the mac mini server was such success that apple could not justify the rack mounted system and that they will continue to invest in osx server for 10.7.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

What your weed choices say about you

This article totally nailed me.
Speaking of which i really need to do up a batch of cookies soon.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Things you should know about my body

I am ruined.
My legs feel like they are Jello and may give out at any moment.  I almost fell down the stairs at the condo this morning. 
Even the muscles under my scalp are sore!
How did I let myself get this out of shape!?!?!!?
It is going to be an epic month.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Boot camped

The fella and I had our first night of boot camp.  We found a great deal online for 1 month of unlimited boot camp for 20 dollars.

We both have been feeling less than fit these days and so it was a great opportunity to kickstart ourselves into shape.  I have to admit i was  little terrified I would have a heart attack or throw up.  I have not done aerobic exercise since high school.

First thing however as with any gay  outing we had to plan our outfits starting with our shoes.   The fella took one look at my old athletic shoes which I have had for about 12 years (I got them for grade 12 gym class) and decided to take me shopping.

While for most gays this would be a joyous occasion.  For me however there were no exclamations of OMG shoes!

I have tiny feet.  I am a size 7.5 wide in mens (usually an 8 as 7.5 does not really exist).  Unfortunately in the case of athletic shoes most stores carry only 1 or 2 pairs in thats size.  Apparently hobbits don't play ball, soccer or tennis.  I went to 4 stores and at the final store 6 pairs before the poor guy just grabbed the only pair of 8s he could find.  I fucking hate shopping for all of the above reasons.

The boot camp was  fucking intense.  If anyone ever tells you to do pulsing squats you might as well punch them in the face as they are not your friend.  I did kind of enjoy getting my ass totally kicked.  I remember looking at the clock thinking it had to have been at least 40 min in and it was only just the 20 min warm up.

I am certain i am going to be sore for days.



Come and mingle with others from the Alberta Gay Bear Community in a safe fun environment for the last BEEF of the year.
This time we are planning a Two Part Event on November 27:

PART 1: A dance at Junction Bar starting at 8 PM. Junction. Come check out the renovated Boots location. FREE ADMISSION TO ALL ATTENDING. See here for a map.

PART 2: Last BEEF we partnered up with Down Under Bath House to offer the Bear Buns after party. It was a hugs success so we will be doing it again! There will be a live DJ and hot bears! Down Under @ 12224-Jasper Ave.  Click here to visit the Down Under website.

We welcome all Bears, Cubs, Wolfs, Otters, and Chasers. As always there will be great company, good food from the Junction's new menu, and an awesome DJ. Meet new friends, and old ones. The last party was a huge success thanks to YOU so come out and have some fun! 

For those of you who bought FAB cards at the last event, they should arrive via mail within the next couple of weeks. We thank you for your support in making this event so great!

Click here to visit the Facebook event page.

Monday, October 25, 2010

music monday: Long live Coco

I have been totally digging I Blame Coco all weekend.  She has been out forever I can't believe I didn't know about her.  She showed up on my tumblr on friday and I can't get enough.

Her voice and singing style was really familiar.  Something regge and androgynously 80s about her.  I couldn't quiet figure it out until i found out that Coco is Sting's daughter.  If you listen to some of the other stuff she has on there the influence of her dad is clear. Here she is with always awesome Robyn.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I admit i was a total sucker for the scream films when I was young.

This trailer has me totally pumped to see them back in action.  Now when do i get my sequal to The Craft.

They can't seem to win on or off the ice

The Edmonton Oilers organization have had a rough year when it comes to the lgbt community.  If it isn't an employee Brent Bowers (the coach on the baseball team) going on a bigoted rant to a openly gay umpire (Billy Van Raaphorst),  its fans bringing homophobic signs to events. Then having those signs broadcast on the jumbotron as if they were just a funny joke.

It wouldn't take much to apologize and state that signs like that should not be encouraged by being put on the big screen.

It appears those sensitivity courses that they were having all employees take didn't really amount to much.  I wonder if they actually did them or if it was lip service to shutup the gay news blogs who were all over the umpire story.  I don't think they will be getting my support until the upper management realizes that a family friendly atmosphere should include LGBT members.

I look forward to hearing more from the capital club about this.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Erin Larson, Valedictorian, Super awesome person

What happens when a University professing a commitment to equality gives an honorary degree to one of the most virulently antigay right-wing assholes of Canada.

Well Erin Larson gives him a verbal smack down with him sitting on stage ( i think he is the mustachioed white dude on the far right hand side).

Via  The Gay Canadian White North

Purple day-spirit day- it gets better day

I am viewing today as a day less about remembering the past tragedies but more about preventing new ones.   The world is a lonely place when your a gay kid.   It sometimes feels like you will never feel at home in your own body.   It really amazes me how many people I know who had similar experiences with contemplating suicide.  In fact it seems to be the rule for gay teens rather than the exception. 

While sometimes death seems like the only escape I can only hope that people considering it to look around at the people wearing purple today.  In or out, left or right, conservative or liberal these people can be a home for LGBT youth.  I have criticized the gay community in the past for being vapid, judgemental and overly segregated but what I have never talked about is the positive.  The community really has provided a home and shelter for me to grow into a person I like far more than in my closeted youth.  Home is possible it may just take a while for a person to find it.  

Your allies are waiting for you.  Today they are probably in purple.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Suzie homemaker not so much

Last night watching the election results come in was super stressful so I decided to occupy myself by making nanaimo bars for the first time.   For a no-bake recipe it was a lot of fucking work.

It all would have been fine if only I didn't have to melt chocolate.  You see I am physically incapable of making melted chocolate that doesn't turn instantly into fudge (called seizing).  This has happened every time i have attempted to do this including some disastrous attempts at fondu last valentines day.  I tried 4 times last night.  Each time I ended up with a total mess.   I even  tried the microwave.  What kills me is this is what the recipe says:

In a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter. Spread the melted chocolate evenly over the filling and refrigerate until the chocolate has set.
Looks pretty simple doesn't it?
What they really mean is this:
The most important thing you can do to prevent chocolate from seizing is to eliminate any chance of the chocolate coming into contact with water. Always make sure the bowls and utensils you are using are perfectly dry. Avoid using wooden spoons or boards, as they might retain moisture and impart this moisture to your chocolate. If you are using a double boiler to melt your chocolate, keep the water hot but not boiling, or turn off the heat before the chocolate is placed on top. Boiling water might splash above the rim of the saucepan and cause droplets to fall in the chocolate. In addition, boiling water gives off a great deal of steam, and steam can also cause chocolate to seize. Be sure to wipe the bottom of the bowl the chocolate is melting in on a regular basis, to remove water and condensation. Finally, never cover warm chocolate with a lid, as the heat of the chocolate might form condensation on the inside of the bowl, which will cause the chocolate to seize. 
So now i have nanaimo bars that are covered in a lumpy layer of fudgy lumpy chocolate. I am going to need a hacksaw to cut through them.

I think I am going to stick to Tacos..

Monday, October 18, 2010

vote vote vote

Just a reminder for everyone to get out and vote today in the Edmonton civic election.  I am throwing my vote behind Mandel for mayor.  The guy has been a great friend to the LGBT community and has gotten a lot done.  I look forward to him expanding the LRT and championing a downtown arena.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

LGBT Edmontontonians need to read this arcticle

Paula does a quick run down of The Capital Club's poll that was sent out to the coming election's civic candidates.

Its a great primer for anyone concerned about how this years batch of candidates measure up (or don't) in regards to queer issues in this year's election.

Two timing whore

Hey blogger I am sorry for neglecting you.  I have been kinda seeing this new site called tumblr and it is kind of addictive and filled with hotties.   Yeah I have slutted around on there a bit.  Don't judge me its hard not to take off your pants when there are so many hot bears and cubs popping up on my dashboard.

Its fast and easy and I don't want to stop.  

I do miss our long chats however.

Tumblr may be fucking hot and all, but you really know how to touch a heart and mind.   So I have decided I am going to do you both.   You can touch my heart and mind all you want and tumblr can touch my wang and no no bits.  If you two ever wanted to you know,  get together sometime at the same time that would be fine as well.  No pressure or anything, I just think it would be a lot of fun!

Just something to think about...

Just think it could be worse I could be whoring around with that slut twitter!

Anyhoo I should get back to avoiding making eye contact with anyone at work.

Love ya!


Thursday, October 07, 2010

When I wanna come

Its odd that immediately following my post about self acceptance i find that I am hating myself a little bit right now.

Why? You ask.

I was flipping through channels on the tube getting over a cold.  I come upon a music video that despite being the type of music I normally hate and filled with guys that are normally more the fella's type than mine, I find that I am totally loving how filthy hot it is.  At first I thought it was Adam Lambert but it turns out it is Blake McGrath (of SYTYCD fame) reimagining Relax.  Check it out below.  I think this fever is getting to me. I need to go watch some bear porn now...

Monday, October 04, 2010

Falling stars: It does get better

It is hard not to be affected by the disturbing amount of recent suicides related to homophobic bullying.  The world can be such a lonely hostile place when your growing up gay.  School is hard enough to survive without having to deal with the self doubt, fear of exposure and outright hatred of others on a daily basis.

In the complex social structure of elementary school I was pretty much a weird dork.  I had few social skills and ton of social anxiety.   The bullying peaked in junior high.   I was the shortest guy in my class with a newly found sharp tongue and the ability to run and dodge like the wind.  I used these skills often. The funny thing about bullies is they rarely have the ability to self reflect and because I knew I was different from a very young age that is all I ever did.  I may not have been able to punch my way to revenge but I could certainly  throw a few verbal jabs at the assholes as they tried to take me down.  I became and expert at pushing peoples buttons especially bullies, often to my own detriment.   I took a supreme joy in the knowledge that despite the fact that i was currently getting: shoved in a snow drift, pink bellied, wedgied, pantsed, punched that i could get in the dudes head and piss him off even more.

During those years I also found that I could take pretty much whatever was thrown at me.  A punch to the face or stomach just didn't hold the fear that used to.  I had been punched before and I survived.

I came into my own in highschool.  The bullying died down and I managed to come out of my shell a bit.  I started the selection of friends who I would eventually feel safe coming out to.  I was still filled with so much doubt, self hatred and confusion as to why I had these feelings.  This all intensified when I started taking acutane for some really terrible acne.   This was just before they discovered that it caused depression and suicides.  I was on a really strong dose and ended up in a deep 12 month depression.

I wrote terrible poetry and dramatically considered how much easier it would be if i was dead almost nightly.   I thought constantly about how I should do it.  Who would come to the funeral?  What would my parents say?  Who would get my comic books? Now looking back I am sure I was like one of the goth kids on south park without the black clothes, eyeshadow and Bauhaus.

During this time I figured out a way to compartmentalize things really well.  In fact few would have known that I was terribly depressed or struggling with my sexuality.   I put on a really good front.  While this worked great for survival back then it has led to many troubles since.  It is hard to be a complete and happy person when you start boxing yourself up into pieces.

Eventually the acutane stopped and the depression faded to a dark hum of anxiety deep in me.  I drank to deal with it (and drank more and more in university).  There were times I felt like I would never escape especially when I started leading a double life; closeted to family vs out to friends.  As I said nothing good comes from compartmentalization and even less good comes from double lives.  Eventually I made  my way through to self acceptance.  I unpacked the compartments and started to live the life I never thought I deserved.  Much of this difficult journey has been documented on this blog and my old tripod site.

There were many dark times and close calls.  I treat this glibly now but back then it felt like I was in a dark pool at night constantly about to drown and just able to keep my head above water.  

Eventually the sun rose and the pool drained and I was left to pick up the pieces I had chopped myself into for survival.  Now nothing is perfect nor will it ever be my journey is far from over and I have much work to do.  

If I could go back and sit with that sad teen sobbing in his bedroom writing bad poetry at 3 AM it would be this:
Everyone is broken to some degree and when they try and bully you or take you down it is not a reflection of how you are broken it is a reflection of them. You are not like the people around you but that doesn't make you a freak.  You are not normal and you should never want to be. You are worthy to love and to be loved even if who you love isn't a woman.  You need perspective.  You need to forgive yourself and let go.  

Here is a video from the You Are loved- Glowstick vigil for the youth we have lost. Via

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Edmonton premier of BEAR NATION and after party

Exciting news for Edmonton's gay bear community! Check out the news release below
 You probably have heard of the film Bear Nation directed by Malcom Ingram and produced by that exceptionally hot bear Kevin Smith!
This film will be playing at EMPIRE CITY CENTER (DOWNTOWN EDMONTON CENTER): THEATRE 1, Thursday Sept 30th, 7PM, 13.75 ADMISSION.
You are invited to meet with the director and producers at the after party. Retain your movie ticket for free cover OR Fellowship of Alberta Bears (FAB Card) holders can contact Daren (who will be sending out an email) if you would like to be added to the guest list  for the after party at BRIXX Bar 10030-102 St Edmonton AB(underneath the Starlite Lounge).

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I like em big

Tonight the fella and I went to the Motoraunt an edmonton landmark restaurant that is closing forever at the end of the month.

It started as a food bus that had additions haphazardly built around it making it into a full sit down diner. They are famous for the giant Monster burger and some of the best diner food in edmonton. The service was expectedly terrible (its famous for that as well) but the food was epic and delicious and more than worth the hour plus wait. I will let the pictures tell the story.

Outside the raunt!
Biggest burger I have ever seen

The fella with his half

Rob and his giant wiener

Post burger tummy (we were soo full)!

Farewell Motoraunt you will be missed!


I was not a huge fan of the first game and have yet to play the second one however this clip from the 3rd game coming out is really mindblowing. I have a feeling they are really going to blow people away with a totally new (yet familiar) experience. If your a video game fan at all you need to check it out

Friday, September 17, 2010

In case you were not sure

This is really missing the "leather bar" option tree.

Music for a chilly friday

I have been having extreme trouble getting out of bed in the morning lately. Its been the week from hell. Plus the weather here has dropped into the minuses.
I do however love the soft hum and pop of my radiators turning on in the early morning its been so long since I have heard them.
Heres some Deadmau5 - Moar Ghosts N Stuff to help get the blood pumping on this chilly friday.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Time to envision something better edmonton

So the city just smacked down Envision Edmonton's asinine bid to keep the Municipal airport around. I kind of expected this as they waited far too long to get the petition in (its supposed to be in 60 days after a decision is made, they waited almost a year) plus they didn't even have enough signatures.

It makes me think that maybe this wasn't about the airport so much as it was about giving certain candidates a platform in the coming civic election. Lets face it Envision Edmonton has never been the most upfront and open about themselves. These are intelligent people with a ton of money behind them. They had to know the petition wouldn't be validated. So really what were the true goals of Envision Edmonton?

Friday, September 10, 2010

So sexcited!: Venture brothers return!

Ever been so excited about something that you got a bit of a boner!??
I am that level of sexcited about the venture brothers season (mid season??) premier on sunday! It is the best cartoon on the tubes right now and if you aren't watching it you need to start. Check out the trailer below.
Embedding seems to be broken you can check it out here.

Did She Eat Them?

David Thorn gives the best response to hate mail I have ever seen. You need to check out: I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot. I wish I was as well spoken and hilarious.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Like yesterday

In about an hour or so it will be exactly three years since that super hot guy with a killer smile got my attention at the big gay campout. I stalked that poor boy all weekend. While it may have taken us a month or two and some dim sum for us to finally get our acts together I am so glad we did. The last three years have been such a gift.

I am the luckiest guy in the world. Happy anniversary fella! XOXOX

The Summer time blues

I am in a bit of a funk these days. I am not sure if it is a post gay summer event crash, the residual effects of my infection or what. The Fella and I will be celebrating our 3 year meetaversary this weekend. Instead of going to the big gay campout or Calgary pride however we are staying home. We are both burnt out. Since May I think we have been home on the weekend without house guests maybe once or twice. It is going to be great to sleep in our own bed and cuddle on saturday morning.

Work is also getting me down. Things are not going as planned (d0 they ever at this place???) with the big transitions. September is going to be a very hard month for everyone here I think. I am thankful that my deadline of January is fast approaching. I may have to really start researching IOS programming or on how to become a porn star s0 I have a plan B if I do quit then. If anyone has some good suggestions for either I am totally listening.

Ok now that I had my little emo moment, on to something that should perk everyone up. Super hot cub posing with comic books and stripping. What is better than a nerdy hot stripping cub???
Enjoy your long weekend folks.
Vid via fanboys of the universe (the best site for gay comic geeks ever!).

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Yes please: hockey beef

Yes please via
Which reminds me I need to start working out again if I am going to play hockey this fall!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

goo goo for gaga

We just got back from the lady gaga concert. It was like being at a southern baptist church for queerdome. We stood up we sat down we sang we danced and we celebrated our inner freaks. Say what you will about gaga and her use of artifice the chick can fucking sing and she connects with that little twink that is self conscious about everything.

My inner twink was well satisfied at the alter of gaga.

I have to say our seats were not the best we were in row 51 (there are only 52 rows) in section 336 so you could not get higher but we were right in line with the stage which gave us a pretty sweet viewpoint.

Everything was so awesome the costumes, the lighting, the sets, the super hot androgynous drag queen dancers. We even had fun in line waiting to get in playing spot the straight.

What a great night.

catepillar action

This made me snort out loud in my office today. Via regretsy.

It must have been all that tight lycra

The original Blue Power Ranger David Yost came out in an interview today and talks about the discrimination he faced due to his sexual orientation (not due to his hairline, please David shave your head comb overs are so 1960s). Now I don't think this comes as a huge surprise to anyone. I was in grade six and even back then my gaydar screamed "hey girl hey".

I always had a crush on Jason the red ranger played by Austin St. John with his super hot parachute pants and muscles. The was an internet rumour out and about that he had beefed up and gone into gay porn as this super muscled shaved sean cody boy. Thankfully a quick search of the internet has turned up a far hotter option (at least to me).

Turns out Austin is now a paramedic and has turned into a super hot cub. Yes to the facial hair and double extra yes to no longer shaving your chest. I have always had a thing for paramedics (there was so much beefy eye candy in emergency last week it was crazy).
I wonder if he still has the costume...

Here he is responding to some of the internet rumours. Austin its not too late to start that porn career ;)

Monday, August 23, 2010

He can dance

Now I don't know if its some sort of brilliant act or what but this cub is adorable. Nice to see some positive energy being pumped into the world via cubs in short shorts.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

My hospital adventures - By the numbers

I have never been hospitalized before and never really needed to be. In fact I had never even been to an emergency room before monday night. The whole experience has been overwhelming so just so I have a record of it I thought I would do a run down of the last week by the numbers:
Me after the first 7 rounds of antibiotics and some pupil dilators. I can open my eye again and the swelling in my face has gone down a lot by this picture i still manage to make a good gay face for the camera.
  • 5:00 PM Sunday my eye starts to feel like it has something stuck in it
  • 9:30 AM Monday I see my first doc at the medicenter and he gets a worried look on his face and mentions that if things get any worse I need to go to emergency. Here I thought I had a mild case of pink eye.
  • 9:00 PM the fella and I arrive at emergency and I am admitted
  • 4 hours till I am seen by a nurse
  • 6 mentions by staff of how the budget cuts have increased wait times
  • 6 apologies by staff for said wait times and lack of beds
  • 1 number of cat scans I had
  • 1 bad reaction from the dye used in said cat scan. Apparently violent nausea and convulsions were left off the list of potential side effects of said dye because they are pretty rare lucky me.
  • 8 number of times I was called an atypical case
  • 1 pair of super hot shoes my first nurse Stephanie was wearing she was awesome.
  • 4 number of emergency room doctors I was seen by through the course of the night
  • 4 ft by 6 ft is the amount of space they squeezed my bed into in the nurses station because they had no room for me anywhere else.
  • 7 fantastic emergency nurses who made a very scary experience much easier. The gals and guy in the e unit were really awesome and I can not thank them enough.
  • 6 Infectious Disease Docs that saw me. Each time one would leave they would come back with one more. Because of the rapid onset of things and the fact that whatever it was was spreading throughout my other eye, sinuses and face they were worried that I would not only lose my eyesight but there was a chance it could spread throughout my whole body. I basically became the ward of the ID unit (everyone calls it ID because Infectious Diseases Sounds scary).
  • 4 number of ophthalmologists I had to see. These guys were the worst they did terrible things to my eyes and I never want another thing poked in my eye again.
  • 9 Different antibiotics they had me on.
  • 7 different blood samples
  • 4 swabs
  • 13 times I was told i was very lucky that I came in when I did
  • 43 the number of things I realized I would not be able to do without my eyesight while I was sitting in the waiting room. This biggest of which was I wouldn't be able to see Greg anymore. We had been separated as there was no room for him in the secondary waiting room they put me in. I was so worried that the last thing I was going to see was going to be something other than him.
  • 8 number of hot emt/emr guys walking around
  • 1 number of hot cops I saw
  • 0 number of hot docs I saw (tho my one doc would be hot if he grew a beard :P)
  • 6 wristbands with my medical information on them from the different hospitals and departments
  • 2 number of hospitals I was admitted to.
  • 15 bags of intravenous meds that were pumped into me
  • 1:05 PM Thursday officially discharged from the U of A outpatient unit

My Zombie Eye this is Wednesday and you can I can open my almost fully again but there are still lots of popped blood vessels.

All said and done I have a much greater appreciation for the hard working people at our medical facilities. These people work there asses off and every cut to medical services makes a near impossible job they do every day that much harder. I can not thank them enough for the help they gave me.

I also have a greater appreciation for my health. I take a lot for granted and it is amazing how quickly you can go from thinking you have an eyelash in your eye to worrying about loosing your vision. Go out and enjoy your bodies folks who knows how long they will last.

Most importantly I have a greater appreciation of my relationship with Greg. He has been so good to me the last week I don't even have words for the amount of support and nursing he has done. I love you lots fella!

Poked for the last time?

I'm in th outpatient iv clinic at the u of a hospital hopefully getting my last treatment of iv antibiotics. Which is good I'm tired of havin this iv hanging out of my hand and getting caught on things ( totally new sort of pain that I discovered there). The infectious disease docs should be coming to discharge me soon for goo I hope!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

cleanest ear in texas

This years season of big brother has been dismal at best. Bland unlikeable contestants and lame twists has made it almost unwatchable. This clip of super hot texan Lane jerking off in the shower however I could watch over and over.

Now that is good television.

live it, love it

It is amazing what spending almost whole day in the hospital makes you appreciate everything. I am so glad I still have vision (all be it blurry) in both of my eyes. More details to follow
You should have seen it before the trip to emerg, the cat scan and the 7 different round of intravenous antibiotics...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

George Clooney Style

I am officially on my way to becoming a salt and pepper daddy cub. I found my first grey hair today.
Next steps:
  1. - 10 pounds of fat
  2. + 30 pounds of muscle
  3. Gain 4 inches in height
  4. Develop the ability to grow a beard
  5. Get a job that makes more money than my monthly expenses
  6. Become attracted to twinks who are hard on there luck
Ok so maybe I have a long ways to go.

Soulless Husks

Stock photos and images are sometimes necessary evils. Whenever I am consulting for a project I try to avoid them. Sometimes however the use of these cheap cookie cutter materials is unavoidable.

Check out this video from Ratatat for Drugs that was created using only stock video. There is something so creepy about the actors, especially in the eyes. Almost like they were aliens pretending to be human I get a feeling similar to the uncanny valley effect.

Ratatat - Drugs from More Soon on Vimeo.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Music Monday: Something old and something new

I am generally luke warm on Tegan & Sarah. The Canadian, lesbian, twin sister duo (that was a mouthful) tend to flash between moments of brilliance (yes please) and moments of open mic night at the dyke bar (no thanks). This song has been out for a while but I don't think anyone can doubt how fucking awesome it is. I want a whole disk of them an Tiesto collaborating on wicked good dance tunes.

The next tune is the something new to me at least. I heard it multiple times on the way to vancouver pride and loved it more and more each time. Think shades of Bloc Party circa helicopter mixed with vocals from Death Cab for Cutie. Check out Two Door Cinema Club - I Can Talk:

Thursday, August 05, 2010

He said what?

Don Koziak has just officially thrown his hat into the edmonton mayoral race by basically saying he is a dinosaur who is forever going to live in 1965. Public transport is the only way we are going to be able to survive post peak oil. Don Iveson for mayor!

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Music Monday: Remixed right

It is very rare for a remix to become theee ultimate version of a song for me (usually MSTRKRFT remixes fill this category for me).

A while back the Crystal Method released a song called Come Back Clean featuring vocals by Emily Haines (who I talked about last week). It never really hooked me in any way. It was a good song but it lacked something to make it great. Here is the original below.

Then I stumbled on this fantastic remix by James Merrifield who metricized the song and really made something far superior to the original. Granted I am a much bigger fan of metric than the Crystal Method so maybe I am biased.

Which do you all prefer?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Morning view

Ahh Vancouver in the sun!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, July 26, 2010

Music Monday: Dancing shoes

I have been rocking out to Dragonette for the last couple of weeks. I posted a video I got from Jimmy a while back by them (i think it was fixin to thrill).

Martina the lead singer is so fucking awesome. In my fantasy world her, Emily Haines from Metric and Beth Ditto from the Gossip have all joined together to form a vagtastic rock/dance supergroup who do face melting covers of old HEART tunes along with original material that blows your mind. I think they would be called The Balls mostly because I can't fathom a guy band that could go toe to toe with these ladies. As a side note they would be managed by Chrissie Hynde.

You can imagine my joy when I found this on my facebook news feed. Via Anna... Kaskade Featuring Martina from Dragonette.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Music Monday: Walking into the light

Sorry all this post was supposed to auto post on monday.

I have been obsessively listening to the new Scissor Sisters album Night Work (itunes link) for the past couple of weeks. I love the feel of the album its 80s its disco its pop and its oh so fabulously gay in the best way possible.

Invisible Light is by far the stand out song for me. It sort of embodies the whole album with a greasy hot club beat.

It reminds me of going to the roost when i was but a wee gay and walking up to the bar all nervous and pent up hearing the muffled beat of the music from the line up outside. The beat builds as I weaved my way through the sweaty shirtless men towards the dancing lights and music and eventually making my way to the dance floor ( back when I used to dance).
Sir Ian Mckellen does a spoken voice over for the song and plays a sort of ringmaster/narrator urging you closer into the invisible light.

It all comes together so well and is a really danceable tune. Check it out below:

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Avatar Cartoon News!

Holy Shit You Guys!!! A cartoon sequal Avatar: the last airbender is coming out next year!!!!!!
By the original show's creators Avatar: The legend of Korra is going to fucking rock the socks off of M. Night's terrible movie adaptation.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

BEEF Summer Gay Bear Bash! 2010


Come and mingle with others from the Alberta Gay Bear Community in a safe fun environment.

This time we are planning a Three part event:Click here to visit the Facebook event page.

PART 1: A BBQ at Victoria Park at 1 PM (weather permitting).See here for a map.

PART 2: A dance at Junction Bar starting at 8 PM. Junction is the new bear friendly bar that is opening in the old Boots Building (the location for the previous Bear Bashes). See here for a map.

PART 3: We have partnered up to offer a new event for this beef. The Bear Buns After party with a DJ will be running at Down Under Bathhouse Starting at 1 AM. Click here to visit the Down Under website.

We welcome all Bears, Cubs, Wolfs, Otters, and Chasers. As always there will be great company, good food and an awesome DJ. Meet new friends, and old ones. The last party was a huge success thanks to YOU so come out and have some fun!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Being a productive on a saturday

Today has been super busy in a good way. The fella and I went to the Edmonton downtown city market that they set up on 104 Street. The farmers market was pretty busy and we managed to bump into some friends while we were sampling the wares and some great three chilli cheese bison smokies.

I picked up some organic locally produced organic goat cheese and some fresh veggies.

When we got home the fella started cleaning the condo (which was desperately needed) and doing laundry while I went about making some chicken breasts stuffed with goat cheese, sundried tomatoes, onions and some balsamic vinegar. It was sooo good.

We also watched Doomsday which was a surprisingly good post-apocolyptic movie. Loved the action the random bits of humour and the creative ways they came up with beheading (seriously it seems to be a big feature of the film). It had so many different cool elements and the lead Rhona Mitra (now on Startgate SGU) actress kicked ass.

Tonight its off the the bear swim at Eastglen pool which should be nice for a cool off.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Recovery mode initiated

I am finally feeling human again after the CRIR rodeo. I have to say this was by far the most enjoyable rodeo yet! Argra really put on a good show for us.

Our pink shirts that we got to help promote a high school Gay Straight Alliance were a big hit
we all had our pictures taken a lot.We managed to fit in so much fun this year we figured there is no way to top it next year. So next year the fella and I are going to switch it up and participate in the actual rodeo. This year Argra threw a rodeo school for beginners which was a huge success. The fella and I are going to participate in that and I am finally going to participate in a few events. I sort of accidentally found a team for Wild Drag and maybe the Steer Deco and I will for sure be doing the Chute Doggin.

I am so excited about next year at this point! I have been wanting to participate in this for a long time and having a team is going to finally make me commit to it which is great.

Here are some pics from the event.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Happy Canada day

I hope everyone's Canada day is filled with fun and cold beverages!! The fella and I are on the way to the gay rodeo. We made great time getting out of the house this morning.
Expect pictures and posting under the influence this weekend! Yeeehaw!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Review: The last airbender

Just got out of the sneak preview for The last airbender. Being a massive fan of the cartoon I went in with a bunch of concern as to whether M. Night Shaymalan fucked up the source material beyond redemption.

My Biggest complaint from the whole thing was the supposed 3d. Now we saw it for free but if i had paid extra for 3d i would have been livid. The opening credits were clearly filmed in 3d and show the potential it could have had for this film. At no point after the opening did i notice any sort of 3d effect. Do not wast your time or money on the 3d version. I am really sick of studios releasing films using this bullshit post production 3d its a rip off and they need to stop.

You can tell he loves the source material. There are so many cool nods to the cartoon however it all feels a bit hollow. Relationships are not nurtured and the audience is not given the connective tissue that fleshes out what connects the characters. I totally understand the need to get the movie in at a reasonable time but it really feels like there was about 30-45 min of character development missing replaced with clunky narration or short montages. Why not show us the growing relationship between Sokka and Yue rather than tell us given the fact that we are supposed to feel something for these characters at the climax of the film?

The child actors were ok again i think they were hampered by a weak script. I thought Jackson Rathbone was really standout as Sokka but by far the best was Shaun Toub who played uncle Iroh.

The effects were by far the best part of the whole affair. They really nailed each of the bending powers. So many WOW moments were due just to the slick production.

So if your a super fan or have kids check it out just for the effects they will love it. If not check it out on rental some time or better yet check out the cartoon as it is still far superior to this film.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Nerdgasm!!! Avatar (the real avatar) Preview!

So Nessa in all of her brilliance managed to score us tickets to the advance showing of The Last Airbender on Wednesday. I am concerned about M. Night Shyamalan's ability to pull off the goofy kick ass Avatar (no not the james cameron movie) world.

Originally I was going to have to wait till after the big gay rodeo this weekend to see it with the fella. I will post a review on my thoughts about the various controversies after actually seeing the film.

Till then here is the trailer:

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Unite the left

If the list of topics up for discussion at the potentially ultra right wing wildrose party convention doesn't scare the liberals and NDP into cooperating and stop acting like spoiled children nothing will.

Shut it down

Locals will probably be pretty familiar with the ongoing saga of the Edmonton Municipal Airport. It has been slated to close and I for one can not wait for that to happen. In fact as far as I am concerned it can not happen soon enough. Lets get a brand new community built on the lands already.

I live under the flight path for the muni and honestly it's noisy chokehold on the city has cramped downtown Edmonton's growth to the benefit of the few wealthy individuals and Oil execs for far too long.

It was frustrating to see this asinine group Envision Edmonton appear and attempt to drag up the issue of keeping it open. They were claiming to have no direct investment in the airport staying open. I was rather pleased with MasterMaq totally scooping the mainstream media in finding out unsurprisingly that many (if not all) have direct reasons to keep the muni open.

I totally get and understand that establishment types (aka rich white dudes) make a lot of the decisions about how a city and the world is run. My brief experiences in politics and campaigns has explicitly shown me this. So it is no surprise that those same wealthy guys are all sorts of pissed that the city taking away their playground. They are going to do everything they can to make this a big issue for the civic election.

I understand that there are livelihoods on the line here with the closing of the muni but I firmly believe the overall economic benefit of closing it will far outweigh the costs.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Music Monday: Lets get you harder

On the way home from a fantastic pool party in calgary the fella and I managed to catch a Larry Flick interview with Scissor Sisters Jake Shears and Babydaddy. (btw who knew that Larry was an adorable bear???) They have a long awaited new disk is coming out at the end of the month and I am super fucking excited.

These guys have been the soundtrack to my gay life. I thought the interview was fantastic even better was the glimpse of the album they gave us. I hope they don't take this down but here is Harder you get by the Scissor Sisters. It seems like a dark 80's song to me I can't wait for the video.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Wet in the city

One of the great gems of downtown Edmonton is the legislature grounds. The fella and I swung by to get our feet wet in the fountains there. Such great weather. Man my glasses are crooked.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

So bad it is good

If you are not watching Bitchin Kitchen on the food network you need to. It is bizarre in the best way imaginable.
The host is this rocker chick who's Italian accent wavers between russian and french and who tells viewers to go fuck themselves.
This is my kind of cooking show.

Odd talent

Does anyone else find it strange that America's Got Talent is judged by two Brits and a Canadian?

Ahh font humour

You know deep down in the darkest recesses of my soul there is a part of me that I perpetually want to punch in the face and that I hate to admit still enjoys Comic Sans. I am glad I am not the only one.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Things you should know about my body continued

Today was my weekly weigh in. This weekend was a rough one for my diet as it was filled with junk food and sugary boozy drinks. I was expecting it to be worse than it was but I am still not happy with my result. I am 169 up 3 lbs.

Pride was great for my ego however as I had a lot of people asking me if I had lost weight and some compliments. I am definitely going to be working harder at this to drop the 14 pounds I want to for vancouver pride.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Truly awesome

I can now go to bed happy. True Blood season premier was totally batshit crazy and I loved it. Also the io9 recap was awesome! Summer can now begin!

Edmonton Gay Pride Parade 2010

Well it was a heck of a weekend. Kudos to the organizers and everyone that came out on saturday for the GLTB Pride parade. What a great event. The weather was awesome and the company was great.

I threw a 10 am kick off party at the condo where i made everyone some strawberry mango daiquiris to prime everyone up for a fantastic event. Had about 18 people at the condo and I think that was still my favourite part of the day. The parade was fun and the beer gardens were ok.

I have had bad luck at pride. Something always seems to happen that mars the day somewhat. I guess when you get that many gays in one place someone is going to try and start some drama. Invariably that occurred and i decided to head home. Too much heat, booze and bitchiness.

I had a hell of a nap and then we headed out to the Pure Pride Party. Again it was a fantastic venue with a great turn out. We were all pretty bagged however and ended up heading home around 1 am.

I did come to the realization that I am pretty much done with drinking. I was having much more fun making drinks for others than I was myself. These last few months have shown me how easy it is not to drink and how much better my body feels without it. The more i think about it the more I realize it isn't worth it. I am getting to the age where I have to start making better habits if I am going to make it past 60. Now I am not saying I will never have a beer again but I am pretty sure my marathon partying days are over and not a single part of me is sad about it.

Happy Pride Edmonton!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

If my Baba were a Sea lion

Cute story It reminded me of the time i tried not to have seconds at my Baba's house.

Die couch from Hell DIE!

My condo is notoriously harsh on couches. Lots of hard use from cubs and bears can really take its toll on any furniture but it seems especially bad on my couch. In the three years I have been here I have managed to kill three couches and we are now on our fourth.

The first one was a cheap leather couch from Macini furniture. Seriously never buy cheap furniture there is a reason the whole set cost me 1200 bucks. It was made with plywood and staples and not much else. That couch lasted about 6 to 8 months.

Couch number 2 was from Leons. It was supposed to be a high end leather with a hidabed which was going to be great for when we had guests sleeping over. After the first use the hidabed frame ended up basically collapsing. I called Leons and they promised to replace it within 3 months. Almost 12 months later after repeated calls and getting the run around endlessly they finally replaced the couch. You see the problem was once the frame bent the cushions no longer sat properly over top of the hidabed frame. They were constantly sliding off making it the most uncomfortable couch ever.

Couch number 3 came and was identical to number 2. I was happy with it until the first time we had house guests and the same fucking problem happened. Facing another year long replacement process was not an option so we decided to switch it out with the one in the fella's storage unit.

Couch 4 is awesome but we had to store the 3rd couch in the back room. The couch was just as evil and uncomfortable as couch 2. We finally shipped it off to my parents place today and now we have a work out room ready to go in the spare bedroom!

So here is your lessons:
1. Cubs and bears need real beds with firm support or air mattresses that they can not break
2. Cheap furniture costs you more in the long run.
3. Leon's makes shitty shitty furniture and has questionable customer service.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Edmonton Pride and New beginnings for BEEF

While I am still working on a venue and details for the BEEF Bear Bash I do know that it will be happening some time in August (tentatively August 14th). We have a ton of hard decisions to make about it but I think once everything is said and done it will be a massive success and the biggest party yet.

It is so strange how the closing of a gay bar really can rip the rug out from under people. Boots being gone has really left me without my gay socializing home base. We will be passing these cards out this weekend at the edmonton pride parade.

If you see me say hello! It sounds like the weather is going to be perfect.