Friday, June 03, 2011

Things I learned In Chicago

It has taken me some time to unpack my brain and bags from our vacation to Bear Pride and IML in chicago last weekend.  It was so refreshing to get to be in a totally new and different environment.  If the fella and I had not caught some sort of cold on the way home I am sure we would be both feeling rather rejuvenated by the whole experience.

So here is the list of things I learned from my first real visit to the United States and my first Bear Run.

  • I have some of the best friends in the whole world.
  • Transit is much scarier and yet much better than it is in Edmonton.
  • I live in a tiny town.
  • The buildings speak in chicago.  The gorgeous architecture tells a story drenched in history and drama.   We have none of that here.
  • Lanes in Chicago are suggestions only.  As are signalling and waiting for crosswalk signs.
  • The newer the cab the more terrifying the ride will be in it.
  • Cabs are easy to get. We never waited more than 5 min for one.  In Edmonton you could wait for hours at peak times.
  • Pot holes are big enough to eat a whole car.
  • Chicago Deep Dish is indeed the best fucking pizza I have ever had. Giordano's was amazing!
  • While a 4 dollar appetizer in Edmonton is enough for maybe one person.  A 4 dollar appetizer in Chicago can feed a family of 4 for 2 days.
  • Carson's ribs are fucking tasty.
  • Tourist traps like the museum and the silver bean can be fun if you go with the right people.
  • OMG booze is cheap.  Like stupidly cheap.
  • 3 AM free pizza in the hospitality suite is both the best and worst idea ever.
  • I need to learn how to turn people down who proposition me rather than get embarrassed and then turning mute and running away awkwardly.
  • The tubs in chicago are nicer than the bars here.
  • Always rent a room when you go to the tubs.
  • I am already fucking the hottest guy at the bathhouse.
  • Never take anything to the tubs that you don't want stolen. The fella had his sandals swiped and had to wear these hilarious slippers around boystown.
  • Freepour is the devil.  A delicious and dangerous devil that I want in my mouth.
  • RIch Morel and Bob Mould have got to be two of the best DJ's in the world.  I almost died when they played Zero by the smashing pumpkins at Blowoff.
  • Dancing for 4 hours straight is like walking 9 miles.
  • While my shoes look great they are not designed for walking or dancing 9 miles.
  • Guys that play rugby and are on tumblr are guaranteed to be cute and fucking awesome.
  • Short shorts are not a trend in Chicago and people will look at you funny if you wear them.
  • At IML it is ok to hop around in a body suit with your dick hanging out as long as it is not in the main lobby.
  • Girls can throw boys in slings too!
  • Never eat leftover Queso dip that has been stored out on your patio overnight.
  • Changing in the middle of a display booth while wearing only a jockstrap is the honestly the least interesting thing people will see at the leather market.  No one will even give you a second glance.
  • Mango vodka and starbucks passion tea lemonade make for a fucking delicious combination at 9 am when you are on the way to the airport.
  • Even though you may not know anyone in this town somehow word of your sensitive nipples will get around to random strangers.  
All in all it was a really wonderful experience.  I am looking forward to going back next year maybe.  I miss it already.


Allan S. said...

How awesome. I love Chi-Town. Maybe next year my head, heart and wallet will be ready for venturing out and about.

Aaron said...

It would be great to party with you Allan!!

Greg said...

Um, short shorts are not a trend in Edmonton and people will look at you funny if you wear them.

Allan S. said...

We would have an awesome time!