Tuesday, June 19, 2012

On Pride: Oh you did not just do that! edition

So while I was gone to a wonderful gay wedding in Banff, James was kind enough to comment on my On Pride post.  Isn't it amazing how the internet connects us. What really blows me away about his comment was he simultaneously proved and missed my point completely.  Also he had the balls to try and come into my place and attempt to slut shame me while managing to make a shit ton of assumptions and look like a total asshole.  So in the tradition of High Riding Bitches everywhere Imma sit poor anonymous James down and learn him something.

The point of the post was this.  Pride needs to service the needs of many disparate groups of individuals.   It happens every damn year, when a group of people who you are clearly associating with use the moral high ground to judge and shame others who were participating as less worthy of being part of this event.  Your kind get to complain ad nauseum about twinks in underwear, leather men and drag queens.  This year I decided in return I get to complain about all the fucking strollers and sweater vests.  This is my platform to point out that all those stuck up assholes are not any better than the deviants (a term I use lovingly) they are so dreadfully concerned and complaining about.

So was I being mean judgemental and unfair?  JESUS YES THATS THE POINT!!!!  It's not so fun when the sluts refuse to be shamed and fight back against some of the bullshit being slung their way.

As far as Pride goes, your welcome to come to the party but please do not bitch about the company! It pisses me off to no end that we never get to hear from these scandalous underwear wearing sluts daring to walk down a public street horrifying families and scarring proper homos for life.  Well I am one of those sluts (too fat these days to be a twink but man I can rock a pair of boxer briefs still)  and my opinion is just as valid as yours and your ilk and I think its high time someone came at this topic from the other-side.  

Using your personal sexual behaviours to set yourself apart from others and using it as a battering ram to beat others down does not make you much different than all of the homophobes out there we have been fighting for years.  Pulling the victim card right off the bat complaining that I am shaming others is exactly the point of the whole post.  You claim it isn't internalized homophobia but the things you have said and the assumptions your making about my life could be coming out of the mouths of any member of the Phelps clan.  I am just using the same tools tempered with some humour and and a dose of exaggeration. 


The moral high ground of these people is built on the shaky assumption that you are somehow living a better or more genuine life than me because you value monogamy.   I think its great when two people can find each other and make it work.  Love is such a rare creature and making it thrive can be a tricky balance.  I just got back from a fabulous wedding for two adorable gays who do happen to be monogamous.   I do not hate monogamy or those that choose it as long as they treat me with the same respect (which in this case they were not).   What I can not abide is when that choice to be monogamous is used as a platform to make your opinion or experience more valid or valuable than mine. I agree like most things morals are a matter of perspective. It seems however that only one perspective is welcome when dealing with the pride complainers and it certainly isn't mine.

The complainers talk about damaging the cause or it being "not what we are fighting for".  They are no more worthy of the benefits of the equality movement than I am.  That is the whole point of equality.  We all end up in the same boat regardless of whether you wear chaps or pleated slacks from old navy.

My comments could not be less counter-culture in fact they are a plea to celebrate the rich tapestry that is gay culture versus accepting the heternormative lifestyle as something that is somehow more valuable than what it is rapidly replacing.  Our culture is something we should cherish and nurture instead of cutting off the parts that some find unseemly.  Are you weak for going along with the masses?  I can't answer that.  Are you less interesting?  Most likely yes and no amount of orgies will ever fix that.


I don't recall asking for an x-rated pride.  I do not find men walking around in underwear and the occasional flash of an exposed breast or butt cheek to be x-rated.  In north america we have a very skewed view of the body that I generally feel is unhealthy and overly conservative.  I hope that pride is always a place that supports the body as the wonderful gift it is.  Also if I have to watch women breast feeding you can watch me in my ultra short, short shorts (your in luck because they make my ass look fabulous).  I hope that pride never loses its edge, its openness or its sense of play.  All things that could be argued as being "not family friendly".

James you make a lot of assumptions about the quality and content of my relationship with my fella.  Which means you probably don't read my blog at all or your not a very good reader.   Greg and I live a supportive, sex positive, body positive lifestyle.  I am so lucky to have both an incredible love live and a really amazing and occasionally filthy sex life the kind of which you probably wank off to in your wildest dreams.  I am sorry your love life sucks (oh noes! another cruel assumption).  You might find you have more fun when you remove the stick from your ass.

I do love how you tried to use my sex life as a weapon to earn some cheap points but you clearly chose the wrong spot to insert yourself.  It was the wrong tool for the wrong hole.  Don't worry James it happens to all of us from time to time.  


Lastly I will have you know, my orgy's are always wonderful and well attended.   I pride myself on being a very, very good host. Martha Stewart has nothing on me.  I doubt you will get an invite however.  I may be easy but I do have some taste.




Monday, June 11, 2012

On Pride

We had another amazing turn out for BEEF Bear Bash Pride edition.  Capacity crowd tons of hot guys in underwear and we raised $1100 for charity.  

Inevitably the Pride douchebags have irritated me to the point of needing to vent about it on here.  They always come out of the woodwork in an attempt to show how intelectual they are.  They usually come in one of two breeds:

1. Pride has become too corporate, it totally sucks.

2. Pride needs to be more family friendly.  I am tired of  seeing nothing but coked out twinks and drag queens.  

This is how I deal with number 1.
- Pride is what you make it.  For me personally its a declaration and celebration that I made it.  I lived through all of the self hate, public hate, stigma and abuse that gets casually thrown our way.  I made it to a better place without killing myself or ruining my life through self destructive means.
- If the parade is too corporate for you create a float.  Fuck create a political group a protest group or something.  Make pride yours instead of bitching about what its turning into.  
- What generally kills me about these people is 95% of them have never done anything more political than vote (and even then its rare).
- There are always a ton of non-corporate events going on.  Many of which are supporting local charities that could really use the help. 

Number 2 is the one that really really gets my nuts in a bind and was the original catalyst for writing this post.  This is the quote that got me riled up from facebook:
 I think a lot of people, myself included, still struggle with what 1000 twinks, walking the streets of Edmonton in their underwear, doing lines of coke right there on the picnic tables or backstage dressing area (we can't even deny it, I have Personally seen it for myself in previous years, and I highly doubt it was an isolated case) have to do with being proud of our sexual identity and the struggles we've faced as a minority. I understand people from the bear, BDSM, drag and plushy community need to be represented, and I respect that. But the needless partial public nudity, and aggressive sexual displays can sometimes be deemed inappropriate and/or overthetop and/or unneccessary. I would hardly call it xrated. But I wouldn't exactly call it child friends either.
I am not interested in assimilation. Assimilation = death.  It is just another closet we are being lured into and I refuse to go into it.
I am not interested in family friendly.  My life is not family friendly.  The lives of my gay friends are not family friendly.
Your family friendly life does not interest me.  In fact shouldn't you be at costco right now instead of dragging kids to a pride parade where all aspects of the community are on display? We are here because of our sexuality. I go to pride because of where I stick my cock not because I started a knitting group.  
I am not interested in living a heteronormative lifestyle.
I am not interested in presenting only our shiny, mormon friendly, monogamous, married, gay couples with kids for your viewing pleasure.   These are the people who have been grinding us underfoot for decades and you want to be more like them?  Its pathetic and it speaks more to internalized homophobia and desperate need for acceptance than anything else.
I am not interested in your body shaming.  In fact your body shaming is part of the problem.  Go fuck yourself because with that kind of attitude no one I know would want to fuck you. 

Give me more twinks in short shorts, more queens in face, more shirtless fat hairy bears, more titties, more leather daddy's in chaps spanking leather boys, more dykes on bikes, because that is my community and family and they deserve all the fucking equality that your bullshit nuclear gay family does.  The world can either accept us warts and all or we can make them eat it.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Happy Pride 2012 Edmonton!

Despite spending all of last night cleaning and trying to fix not one but two shutoff valves that decided to break and leak everywhere (the joys of home ownership) I am still really excited about Edmonton Pride this weekend!

Tonight we have the Beef Bear Bash Pride underwear party.  Its our first attempt to do a pride event and a Friday event.  So far feedback has been good.  Plus we have been getting extra exposure due to the fact that we are an official pride event and were recently featured in Q magazine.

I still have to pick out my undies for tonight.

Lets celebrate making it another year in a world that hates and fears us!